


The lonely bridge

by TWsfan



Category: Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, MDZS, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2020-12-22 14:34:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 29,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21078392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWsfan/pseuds/TWsfan
Summary: After Jin Ling stabs Wei Wuxian Lan Wangji has to decide what to do next. He needs to attend to Wei Ying's wounds at the earliest. With love for his best friend buried in his heart how will Lan Zhan keep his soulmate safe. Will he ever find out what Wei Ying feels for him? And what threats lurk hidden behind the scenes. Can love win?





	1. Take me

**Author's Note:**

> [ Notes  
1.The story is the same as the show till this point and will diverge for here.  
2.The characters are not mine. All credit goes to the creator of the novel and the TV show 'The Untamed' based on the novel 'Grandmaster of demonic cultivation'  
3\. The story has strong BL (boyslove) elements, please do not read if you don't ship the pairing 'WangXian' romantically  
4\. The internal monologue of the characters will be in italics  
5\. Comments and feedbacks are appreciated.  
6\. If there are any extra notes I will put them in { ___}  
7\. This story has mature content.  
Thank you  
]  
P. S. - This story can be found on wattpad with the same name 'The Lonely Bridge' by @GandalfofspaceAnli which is my username on wattpad.

It has been raining heavily since he took a wounded Wei Ying from Jin Lanling. His friend had already lost a lot of blood and every passing second made him paler and tho Lan Zhan appeared his usual calm self on the out side same could not be said about how he was feeling on the inside.

Lan Zhan thought of going to Gusu but he changed his mind almost immediately since he did not know if his brother would allow Wei Ying there. Did his brother suspect Wei Ying too? He was not sure. Also his involvement with Meng Yao only meant that he would have to choose between his sworn brother and Lan Wangji. Lan Zhan did not want to put his brother in an uncomfortable situation.

With these things in mind Lan Zhan decided to go to Yunmeng . He hated Jiang Cheng's guts but there was no other place but Yunmeng that would avoid suspission. After arriving at the outskirts of Yunmeng the first thing Lan Zhan did was to put Wei Ying down gently under a tree to shelter him from the rain. The he proceeded to remove his head band which could give away his identity. He folded it neatly and put it on a patch of grass. Luckily the rain was letting up and he could see the sun peeking through the gaps in clouds. He looked at Wei Ying, his expression darkened. 'How the hell do I always fail to protect him? He is just one Man, how useless must I be to not even be able to protect just one man'.....'my man', his heart supplied unnecessarily. 

He pushed the wayward thought out of his mind. It was then that he realised that he was so cought up in getting them to safety that the had totally not given a thought to the stab the other had received. He looked around and saw a small dwelling some distance away. He decided that for now he has to somehow convince the owners to take them in. But knowing that Wei Ying had grown up there as was quite the talk of the town there was a chance that his friend would be recognised. 

'I have no other option' he thought and started to remove his outer cloths. "Lan Zhan...where are we? and what are you doing?" came Wei Ying's voice and Lan Zhan stopped and looked at him.

"Ah, you are awake. We are in the out skirts of Yunmeng . I can see that there is a dwelling right head, we will try to find shelter there, but before we approach them.." he was cut off.

"You are afraid that they will recognise me and refuse us or worse inform my brother". Lan Zhan nodded.

Wei Ying smirked , "Ok then, I give to permission to do what you want with my body" he opened his arms ,"Take me Lan Zhan, I am yours". Lan Zhan just stood there for a few seconds staring at the other man expressionlessly and then said "Shameless"...'he wants to kill me...that must me why he keeps spewing nonsense like this without meaning it'. 

"Lan Zhan... you are no fun", he says puts his arms at his sides once again. Lan Zhan removes his outer clothing and assists his friend into them.

"Can you stand or should I carry you?" he asks his friend. "I am a man Lan Zhan. I don't need to be carri.... Fuck .Did you carry me from Lanling to here? How? Fuck . Did anyone see? I hope no one saw. What how did you carry me? No don't answer that....Whats done is done. Just support me ok. Thanks." Wei Ying says. 'Well fuck , this hurts worse than being stabbed'

As Lan Zhan helps Wei Ying to stand up a sharp pain shoots through his body and his legs give way and he falls into his best friends chest. Lan Zhan's face darkens and tips of his ears turn red. 'Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. He hates physical contact...he is going to just throw me here under this tree and leave' Wei Ying thinks. "Sorry Lan Zhan. I didn't mean to"

By now Lan Zhan has had enough to Wei Ying's stupidity. "Shut up" , he says as he picks up his friend in his arms and starts walking towards the dwelling.


	2. Unheard

Carrying Wei Ying was not difficult. The new body he had acquired was not as strong as his old one had been. The problem was that the wounded man in his arms was squirming a LOT, his hands kept stroking Lan Zhan's neck and shoulders .

"Lan Zhan, now that you have taken me in your arms without my consent , what are you planning to do? Lan Zhan...ouch ...slow down...I am not kidding...it hurts...Ah." Hanguang Jun stills and looks at the man in his arms. "Stop moving so much. It will hurt less if you stay still". With that being said he starts walking once again but there is a very restless look on his face.

Wei Ying thinking that he is making things harder for his friend stops moving and puts his arms around his friend's neck and pulls himself closer to Lan Zhan. In doing so invariably Wei Ying's ears are right over Wangji's heart. Being wounded and now not having any energy left he puts his head on Wangji's chest. 'He must be really tired, his heart is beating so fast'. Wei Ying looks up to see his face but as usual it shows nothing except resolve.

"Lan Zhan" Wei Ying whispers "I am sorry for being a burden to you. Now you have lost your hard earned reputation because you chose to stand by me. I don't even know how to thank you. And even if I can ever repay you..I wouldn't know where to start. I never knew that in this life time I would burden you again...sorry."

Lan Zhan's voice is soft when he replies,"You are not a burden, I do it because this is what I should do. I care about you Wei Ying". He looks to see how his answer has been received but his friend has already lost consciousness. "Wei Ying...don't fall asleep...Wei Ying we are almost there." Hanguang Jun says loosing his cool facade for once and starts walking faster panic clearly visible on his unusally expressionless face.

They reach the said dwelling. Hanguang Jun puts his friend down gently and knocks on the door. "Hello...is anyone home?" . 

"Who is it?" comes a females voice from inside. "Madam, we are cultivators and were ambushed . And my friend is hurt. We are looking for a place to spend the night. Please.." before Hanguang Jun can say more the door opens to reveal an old woman in her 60's . 

"Did you say you are cultivators?" she asks, the Light bearer nods. "So can you help me get rid of the undead corpses that have been lurking around my house? They seem to only be scared of certain talismans. But they are hard to come by and are expensive. I can't afford it so me and my husband take turns staying awake at and chanting prayers taught by the monks to protect ourself."

"Yes, I give you my word. I will help. But first I need to get my friend's wounds treated." he says pointing towards an unconscious Wei Ying.

"Oh dear, look at this child's face." she says bending down and putting her hands on his fore head. "He is burning up. Quickly bring him in. There is a spare room on the left. There is a bed...." 

Lan Zhan doesn't need to be told twice, he is already carrying his friend in side the room. He lays him down gently on the bed. "Madam would you happen to have clean water and dry cloths?" The old woman who has followed the pair inside the room nods. "Has he been cut by a blade?" she asks . Lan Zhan nods. "I see that you are not comfortable with disclosing the situation so I will not push. You are in luck young man,I am a midwife for this village so I have all that you would need to take care of your friend. " She pauses "I can see that you don't need my assistance with him". Lan Zhan nods again.

"Give me a few minutes. I will get want you would need." Lan Zhan nods again. "You don't speak much do you young man." the woman says with a hint of amusement in her voice she continues "Your partner must get awfully bored."

A nerve twitched in Lan Zhan's face , he said nervousness and uncertainty seeping into his voice "Madam you are mistaken, he is not my..." the midwife agin stops him with a hand on his forearm and smiles gently , "It's ok young master...I will be back with the things. Lock the door once I leave if that makes you feel more secure." 

"Thank you madam" he whispers looking at the retreating back of their saviour. He locks the door and faces his unconscious friend. 'Wei ya...please ...you have to live ...for me.' He gently opens the belts that are holding his robes ...'my robes' he thinks. Discarding the first layer he places them on the floor. His hands tremble as he inspects Wei Ying's torn robes. The cut is at the lower side of his stomach. 'It must have hurt when Jin Ling plunged that sword in you' he thinks.

He had not estimated the wound to be located in such an intimate place. He swallows hard and averting his eyes from his friend's body he slowly opens the belts that hold his all too familiar black robes. His hands hesitate in mid air before he pulls the robe completely off his friend's body , leaving him only in his trousers. He realises that Wei Ying was not wearing any other layers over his dress robes. His eyes invariably fall on first his face that had rolled to face Lan Zhan. He looks beautiful with lips shaped like flower buds and a jawline that could cut steel. His cheek bones are high and Hanguang Jun invariable touches his closed eyelids. His eyes travel lower and get a full view of Wei Yings long neck....before his eyes can travel further down, he stops himself. 'Get a grip....what are you looking at. He is your best friend.'...'who you are in love with' ...his brain again supplies unhelpfully.

'If I am to treat the wound I will have to look at him'...'then get your mind out of the drain' his logical side of brain adds. 

'Yes that is what I need to do. I need to be logical and practical. We are two men who have known each other for years. There is no need for awkwardness. It's not like he is a maiden... He is a man'. 'and I am in love with him' his brain whispers again. 

He takes a deep breath and is about to turn towards Wei Ying again but he stops at the sound of the knock on the door. "Young master, I am leaving the things you would need outside the door. I am going into the town for assisting a young couple. It may take a few hours. My husband has gone out of town so you will not be disturbed. I will hopefully return before the night fall. Please remember your promise to get rid of the undead corpses."

With that said the old woman leaves, there a sound of door closing. And Lan Zhan is left all alone with the man he loves in an unconscious state. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed it please leave Kudos :)


	3. A Misunderstanding

Being left alone with his wounded friend Hanguang Jun did the only thing he could. He prioritises. He walks over to the locked door, opened it and took the first aid items left there by the midwife and placed then on the stool by the bed. He then promptly locked the door and drew the curtains. The room plunged into semi darkness. He lit a candle lying on the stool and sat next to the bed. Belatedly he realises that being bare chested his friend must be feeling cold so he covers the shoulders and arms with a sheet which the thoughtful midwife had also provided. 

Now his eyes finally travel to the wound which is still half covered still my the trousers. There is nothing he can do except undo the knots which are holding his pants securely in place and that is what he does. His hands tremble as he pulls the pants lower but stops and only uncovers the wound. He gently puts his hand over the top area to examine it. He thanks his sect rules which state that every man must have first aid knowledge and proceeds to first check the severity of the wound. The wound he observes is about 4 inches long . He cleans it methodically with deft hands. His mind only concentrates on the patient on the bed. He leaves a relieved breath when he realises that the wound though a bit deep is not life threatening. After disinfecting the wound he gently picks up Wei Ying in his arms to wrap the bandage around the wound.

"Ah...Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying calls his name suddenly... breathlessly.."It's so cold"...and he puts his arms around Hanguang Jun's neck once again...second time today. His hands still on his friend's lower back, "Wei Ying, calm down. I am almost done taking care of the wound." 

Wei Ying was not listening. "No...Lan Zhan, please..." he moans... his breath caressing Wangji's neck. The light bearer dies a little on the inside 'How am I to keep my sanity with him behaving like this???' . Hangwang Jun gathers the last bit of self restraint he has and pulls himself out of his friends grip and his friends face falls "Am I so disgusting to you Lan Zhan that you can't even bring yourself to comfort me a little bit....HaHA...what am I even saying...you pitying me because you think you have wronged me is the only reason you are here...isn't it?" a tear slowly makes it's way down his beautiful cheeks..."Hanguang Jun, I told you before...You owe me nothing....I have never blamed you. And so there is no need for you to stay next to me. I don't need your pity Second master Lan."....he looks his friend directly in the eyes and shouts "LEAVE...I have walked this path alone before and I can do it again. I don't...Ah!"...he looks down at his wound as sharp pain suddenly emits from it and he looses consciousness again and begins to fall back on the bed, but he is caught by Lan Zhan in his arms before his body can hit the bed. 

What Wei Ying fails to see again are the tears that are now freely flowing for Lan Zhan's eyes .He cradles his best friend's body in his arms for a few minutes and gently lays him down on the bed. And wips his tears. 'After all this time if you can't see that disgust is not what I feel for you then you are a bigger fool than I thought you to be Wei Ying' , he thinks while stroking his friend's eyelids, 'you are the fool to have fallen for him though isn't it?' ...his brain supplies again.

Lan Zhan touches his forehead agin to check if he still has a fever and sure enough it's still there and he feels that his friend is warmer than before and now is visibly shivering. He takes his hand in his and begins to transfer spiritual energy to him. 'You will be warm in no time Wei Ying, and when you wake up, you can yell at me some more if it makes you feel better' he thinks. After a minute of transferring the energy Lan Zhan notices that his friend's shivering has not reduced ...'why is he still shivering? why isn't his body absorbing the energy?' ..

"Wei Ying", Lan Zhan whispers as he slightly shakes his friend's unconscious frame. "Wake up". 

There is no response and Lan Zhan panics. He looks around the room and in the cupboards and finds few more sheets, they are dusty but they will have to do for now. He wraps his friends body in the sheets all the while praying for him to stop shivering and wake up.

"Wei ya...why are you still like this?" he take his hands and starts rubbing them between his palms. 'I have done all I can but he is still so cold.' 

Cold sweat forms on Hangwang Jun's fore head and his face darkens ...and his hands move to undo his dress robes. In a few seconds Wangji is standing in front of the bed bare chested. A single word "Sorry..." escapes his lips as a single tear leaves his eyes and he begins to remove the sheets covering his friend one by one. All the while repeating a single line over and over agin in his heart, 'I hope you will forgive me Wei Ying.'


	4. Unrestrained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naughty things happen.

Lan Zhan sits on the bed next to his friend and places his hand on his forehead again. 'Please don't hate me Wei Ying.'...'Our body is our temple. Only ones significant other has the right to touch it...but here I am...about to violate this very principle . I have no right to touch him ...especially since my conscience is not clear'...'But you are doing it for him'...'it is still not right'....'but you love him'...'that is what makes it so wrong'...'I want him...I want to touch him...hold him...I want him to hold me too...love me too...love me like I love him.'....'Maybe he does'...'No he doesn't ...he will look at me with disgust if he ever finds out'...'Maybe he won't'...that is the last sliver of hope he holds on to and in one swift movement slides his body next to his shivering friend. He covers them again in sheets and bows out the candle he had lit during tending to Wei Ying's wound. 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Even though he has slid next to his friend their bodies are not touching. Hanguang Jun's hands are at his sides awkwardly and now he too is shaking . He doesn't know how to proceed. He has never touched any other person in an intimate way...neither does he remember being touched or held...he did not have a mother growing up so he was even devoid of maternal affection. Later on he himself had closed his heart to avoid getting hurt. His brother loved him, sure... but being in Gusu they were expected to follow rules and so he had neither expected nor demanded physical affection.

And then he had unknowingly and unexpected fallen in love with his best friend 'his only friend' and then he had lost him again. He had given up on finding happiness. Wei Ying was the joy of his life ....no...Wei Ying was his life. And he had realised it only when he had lost him. 

'I will not lose you again' he thinks and gently lifts Wei Ying's head ,slides his had under his neck and brings their bodies together. Wei Ying's hands are trapped between their bodies. With his other hand he guides Wei Ying's face in the crook of his neck and then proceeds to put his face next to his friends shoulder blade. His breath is touching Wei Ying's shoulder. He can smell an unknown fragrance being close to him. 'This is him...how he smells'. Hanguang Jun takes a deep breath 'It is just like him....beautiful and perfect'.

His free hand holds Wei Ying securely next to him. Belatedly Hanguang Jun realizes that his breathing has become laboured and his heart is going crazy inside his chest..it's beating so loudly that he can hear it. 'I hope Wei Ying doesn't hear it' he sends a silent prayer to whom so ever is listening up above. He tries to breath normally and closes he eyes. 

I must distract myself ...'think about bunnies Lan Zhan'...'bunnies are cute...Wei Ying is cute'...'Damn it'....'I like swords...yes I will think about swords...Why doesn't Wei Ying use his sword any more'...'Damn it'...'Ah ...I must think about things I don't like'...'Wine...I hate wine'...'Guess who loves wine...' his brain supplies him with additional information.

Lan Zhan realises that his mind and soul are filled with thoughts of his best friend...soulmate and now so are his arms. He looks at Wei Ying. Their body contact, had had the desired result. Wei Ying has almost stopped shivering now. Hanguang Jun's mind relaxes. His hand start making small gentle circles on his friends back. He looks at Wei Ying's hands that are trapped in between their bodies. He gently takes one hand and places it around his own neck. He lifts up Wei Ying's head slightly and slides his hand under it. He looks at the empty space between their bodies and pulls Wei Ying towards himself and holds him close. His hand invariable travels south and he places his hand on the others lower back. 'If only you loved me Wei Ying...if only..' 

"Hm.." Wei Ying moans right into Lan Zhan's ear. 

Hanguang Jun stops breathing. 'Has he regained consciousness?' he thinks. 'He has stopped shivering. His body seems to have cooled down too.' 

He takes his hand off his friend's back and starts to remove Wei Ying's hand from around him. "Hmmmm....no...", Wei Ying's hand not only refuses to move but holds on tighter. He pulls himself closer to a very panicked Hanguang Jun.

"Wei Ying...let go. I will get you something to eat." Lan Zhan whispers. 

"No..Closer...come closer...I can't see you." Wei Ying continues to whisper into Hanguang Jun's ear and rubs himself on Hanguang Jun and sure enough his body reacts to this and he feels like all his blood has rushed south of his body. 'Damn it....Control your self Lan Zhan'. He tries to pull his betraying lower body away for Wei Ying's when he feels his friend's hand at his lower back...and moving lower still. Hanguang Jun gives up and stays still. That is all he can do right now. Because if he makes any move , he does not know what he will end up doing.

'He is dreaming.' Hanguang Jun tells him self. "Wei Ying...focus...I am right here. You need to let me go." he says.

"No, closer....let me see you...I want you...", Wei Ying says as he takes Lan Zhan's ear lobe in his mouth, sucks on it.

"Wei Ya...Ah..." the light bearer moans as pleasure shoots through his body , and just like that his hand that had retracted from his friend's back is now back, gently holding and caressing his friends lower back as his mouth latches on to the only place that his mouth could reach... Wei Ying's beautiful shoulder blade... and he sucks on it. If anyone could see the Light bearer now he would be unrecognisable. . His body is flushed with want and desire and his emotions are visible on his face...unrestrained.

And at this point , his only thoughts are, 'You are Mine Wei Ying...only MINE' 


	5. Unrestrained (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhat Steamy chapter.

{Note :- Somewhat steamy chapter.}

Lan Zhan's arms are all over Wei Ying's back and he continues to suck. "More...ah..more....don't ...stop." Wei Ying says breathlesly. 

'He wants more....I will give him what he wants then'. 

His lips move upwards towards Wei Ying's neck all the while peppering him with small pecks and nips. Lan Zhan's hands move to cup the other man's face and continues kissing his jaw.   
'Wei Ying...I want you...I have wanted you for so long'.

"Mmmm.....ahhhh...feels so good...show me....ahhh...show me please...." Wei Ying begs.

Lan Zhan looks up and sees Wei Ying's smiling face. 'He looks so beautiful like this, with his eyes eyes closed...his eyelashes are beautiful'

"Show me...." Wei Ying pleads again.

Lan Zhan puts his face close to his friend's "What do you want to see? Tell me what you want Wei Ying?"

"Show me...who you are...please." Wei Ying finishes his sentence.

Lan Zhan stops suddenly. He pulls his hands back from Wei Ying's body as if burnt. It's like someone had doused him with ice cold water.

'Oh my God...what was I doing to him?...what did I do?...I bit him...I hurt him. I took advantage of him like some kind of sick pervert. I deserve to be hated.'

He forcefully removes himself from Wei Ying's grasp and gets out of bed. He takes his discarded outer dress robe and pulls them on Wei Ying's body with much effort. Wei Ying is not cooperating though. Everytime Lan Zhan tries to put his hands inside the sleeve he tries to grab hold of his friend. His eyes are still closed and he is still sprouting nonsense. "Who are you? Don't go! Don't leave me. Please." he continues to beg. Some how Hanguang Jun manages to put the robes on him and covers him up. He tucks his friend in the sheets which restrain him enough to lull him back to sleep and his speech becomes more slurred and senseless till he completely drifts of to a peaceful sleep. Seeing that he is no more needed he wears his inner robes and walks out of the room and closes it behind him.

'What is wrong with you Lan Zhan? Is this how you were taught to respect others? Is that how one human being should treat another? Do you even deserve to live? How can you call your self his friend now? How could you have betrayed his trust like this? Taking advantage of a wounded man when he is unable to even defend himself...a fragile man...your FRIEND' 

Tears roll down his face as he thinks of the despicable things he was thinking of doing to his best and only friend. He thinks of how he almost raped his friend. He closes his ears and eyes but the noises in his head continue to haunt him. 

"Stop...just stop...I can't any more..sorry...I am sorry" he whispers to himself.

It is then that he hears inhuman noises outside the door.

He momentarily forgets his pain , gets up with Bichen held firmly in his hands and goes to the main door. He peeps through the crack between the two doors and sees that the sun has almost set. To the right he can see two humanoid figures approaching the door. When he is finally able to see their faces clearly he realises that they are the undead corpses that the midwife had mentioned to him.

He unsheathes Bichen and flings himself outside the house and closes the door behind him. He put an enchantment as an extra measure. 

Lan Zhan realises that he has underestimated the number of corpses as a few more arrive out of no where. He attacks them with Bichen but even after being struck they don't stop and continue attacking. One of them manages to land a blow on his forearm and blood starts to trickle down his arm.   
He takes out his guqin and starts attacking the corpses. To his astonishment he sees that the guqin has only marginally slowed the down. 

'How is that possible' he wonders. 'It's because your heart is not in it.' ...'You are trying to punish your self.' his conscience whispers. 

At this rate he may loose the fight. He thinks of Wei Ying who is lying defenseless in the house.   
The thought to his friend brings fresh wave of guilt and he strengthens his resolve and begins attacking with renewed vigour. 'The further away I take these the better' he thinks as he starts to lead the corpses away for the dwelling...'away form Wei Ying'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave Kudos if you have enjoyed it.   
Thank you.


	6. The Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Note :- This is the part that explains what Wei Ying was actually dreaming about. 
> 
> 1\. It starts When Wei Ying loses consciousness while he is being carried towards the house by Lan Zhan. In the mid of Chapter 2 "The Unheard". 
> 
> 2\. The lines between the apostrophe and Italics 'The italics' is what Wei Ying is thinking in The Dream.
> 
> 3\. The italics words between "...." are what he says out loud in the dream, 
> 
> 4\. The bold words between "...." is what he hears, ie. the real world converstions.   
5\. Since Wei Ying has lost a lot of blood he is a bit delirious so he is not fully unconscious but not fully awake so he can hear some words spoken in real time. Basically he can hear Lan Zhan sometimes but he can't differentiate between his dream and reality.   
6\. The Dream is in two parts.}

{Note :- This is the part that explains what Wei Ying was actually dreaming about. 

1\. It starts When Wei Ying loses consciousness while he is being carried towards the house by Lan Zhan. In the mid of Chapter 2 "The Unheard". 

2\. The lines between the apostrophe and Italics _'The italics'_ is what Wei Ying is thinking in** The Dream**.

3\. The _italics_ words between "...." are what he says out loud in the dream, 

4\. The** bold** words between **"...."** is what he hears, ie. the real world converstions.   
5\. Since Wei Ying has lost a lot of blood he is a bit delirious so he is not fully unconscious but not fully awake so he can hear some words spoken in real time. Basically he can hear Lan Zhan sometimes but he can't differentiate between his dream and reality.   
6\. The Dream is in two parts.}  
  
  
  


"Lan Zhan" Wei Ying whispers "I am sorry for being a burden to you. Now you have lost your hard earned reputation because you chose to stand by me. I don't even know how to thank you. And even if I can ever repay you..I wouldn't know where to start. I never knew that in this life time I would burden you again...sorry."

***********************************************************************************************

**{PART 1- Start}**

_ **ThumpTumpThumpTumpThumpTumpThumpTumpThumpTumpThumpTump** _

_'It's so loud.' _

**"You are not a........, I do it because this is what I should do. ...............Wei Ying".**

_'Lan Zhan? '_

_'What is he trying to say?'_

_"Lan Zhan, where are you?"_

**"Wei Ying...don't fall asleep...Wei Ying we are almost there."**

_'Where is this place?' Wei Ying looks around._

_'Hm!? This is The Cloud Ressesses .'_

_'WTF! Why here?' _

**"Hello.............home?"**

_"Lan Zhan, why did you bring me here you Fuddy Duddy?" Wei Ying sighs._

**"Who is it?"**

_'My ears must be deceiving me!!! A female voice....in Cloud Ressess?'_

_"Hello....Where are you my lady?"_

_"Lan Zhan where are you? It's not right to dump me here in this boring place and leave. I won't forgive you ...ever....Lan Zhan.....Lan Zhan." he calls his friend's name as he runs around the Cloud Ressess Library._

_Suddenly the scene changes and now Wei Ying is standing in cold spring in the Cloud Recess._

_'What the hell!!!'_

_'Oh it's so cold here....it's freezing' Wei Ying shivers. He looks around and sees Lan Zhan standing just behind him. He turns and puts his arms around Lan Zhan's neck._

**"Ah...Lan Zhan..."**

_'Wei Ying....what are you doing?' Lan Zhan tries to pull away_.

**"It's so cold"**

_Wei Ying holds on to Lan Zhan and burries his face in his neck. _

_'Warm...you are so warm Lan Zhan. Let me stay like this for a while.'_

**"Wei Ying, calm down. I am almost done taking care of the wound."**

_'Wound? What is he going on about?'. _

_Lan Zhan tries to remove himself from Wei Ying's embrace._

**"No...Lan Zhan, please..."**

_'Let me stay like this please'_ _Wei Ying begs._

**Lan Zhan forces himself out of Wei Ying's embrace.**

**{** ** Part 1 - End} **

**********************************************************************************************

**Wei Ying regains conciousness due to the force of being removed from Lan Zhan's embrace**

"Am I so disgusting to you Lan Zhan that you can't even bring yourself to comfort me a little bit....HaHA...what am I even saying...you pitying me because you think you have wronged me is the only reason you are here...isn't it?" a tear slowly makes it's way down his beautiful cheeks.  
"Hanguang Jun, I told you before...You owe me nothing....I have never blamed you. And so there is no need for you to stay next to me. I don't need your pity Second master Lan."....he looks his friend directly in the eyes and shouts "LEAVE...I have walked this path alone before and I can do it again. I don't...Ah!"...he looks down at his wound as sharp pain suddenly emits from the wound.

**Wei Ying looses consciousness again.**

***********************************************************************************************

** {Part 2} **

_His body feels wieard as if small insects are crawling all over his body._

_He is sitting on familar steps. He looks around. Sure enough he is in Lotus Cove. He smiles. He can see Jiang Cheng sitting on the lotus petal shaped seat in the head of the hall. He speaking to the others who are sitting on both sides. He can see members from Lan Clan, Jin Lanling Clan and Nie Clan. He can see his Shiji sitting next to the 'peacock' , they all are smiling. He can't see Lan Zhan among the happily smiling people._

_'They look happy...without me spoiling everything' he thinks, the previous smile has left his face._

_'They can't see me. That is how it should be.' he starts walking towards his room. He has taken only a few steps when he is sucked into hole that has opened up in the ground. He closes his eyes. And waits for the feeling of pain, but it doesn't come. He opens his eyes. He is back at Cloud Ressess...no he is back in the cave of Cloud ressess._

_"Fuck" he whispers._

_"Language Wei Ying, this is a scared place for my clan." Lan Zhan says appearing next to him out of no where._

_"Sorry...Second Master Lan." he says bowing down once and turns his face away from his friend._

_"I told you to leave, didn't I? What are you hanging around me for?", he asks with his back still turned away from his friend._

_There is no answer._

_"Oh ...I see, Master Lan doesn't think highly enough of me to answer me...Am I right?" he says as he turns to face his friend but Lan Zhan has disappered again. He is all alone in the cave._

_'It's so cold.' He hugs himself and starts rubbing his hands on his shoulders._

_"How did I get out of here last time?", he thinks out loud._

**"Wei Ying", Lan Zhan whispers as he slightly shakes his friend's unconscious frame. "Wake up".**

_"Lan Zhan, is that you?....Where are you?" he shouts._

_Suddeny the cave is plunged into darkness._

_'No..NO...NO..NO..NO..NO' Wei Ying panicks._

_"Can anyone hear me? I am down here. _ _ **HELLO** _ _", he shouts._

**"Wei ya...why are you still like this?"**

_"Lan Zhan...." he whispers. "Is that you?"_

_'Lan Zhan left remember? You disgust him Wei Ying. You are Shameless. How can it be him then? Why will he come to look for you here...he left... Just face it... You are alone. '_ Wei Ying thinks.

_'I indeed am stupid. How can it be him. And yet I am sure some one called me.'_

_"Hello? Yes thats me. I can't see you. I am down here. Can you hear he? Hello", Wei Ying calls out again._

_There is no answer._

_He feels like something soft falling on him. He takes it between his fingers but it melts._

_'It's snow. It's snowing in this cave....How is that possible.' he starts to shivers voilently agian._

_'So cold...I am going to die here...cold and alone'._

_Wei Ying starts to cry. His body shakes because of the cold and the sobs._

**"Sorry..."**

_'Who is apologyzing? And to Whom?' Wei Ying thinks continuing to cry._

_Suddenly he feels strong arms surrounding his body._

_Warmth fills his body and soul. He wants to hold the other person back but he realises that he is unable to move his arms. They feel trapped._

_ **ThumpTumpThumpTumpThumpTumpThumpTumpThumpTumpThumpTump** _

_'Ah it's that loud sound again...it's loud but it feels nice' Wei Ying thinks basking in the warmth._

_He feels tickling sensation on his shoulder blade. _

_"Ah...it's your breath...it's warm. Your scent is familiar ....do I know you" Wei Ying whispers in the persons ear._

_'Wei Ying...Lan Zhan is right. You are shameless. How can you just let anyone hold you like this' he thinks and snickers._

_'It is because I am shameless that I am allowed to do these things...AT least in a dream I am allowed to do these shameless things...hehe' he smiles to himself._

_Wei Ying realises that he can move his hands and he immediately puts them around the stranger who has been holding him. He feels the strangers hand move to his lower back. He feels more than just warmth. He feels hot. He feels like he is being pulled closer towards this stranger._

_'This feels so good.' Wei Ying thinks and brings his face closer to the stranger's ears._

**"Hm.." Wei Ying moans right into Lan Zhan's ear. **

_Immediately the strangers tries to pull him self away from Wei Ying._

**"Hmmmm....no...", **

_Wei Ying's hold on the stranger tightens. _

_'Who are you? I want to see you.' Wei Ying wonders._

**"Wei Ying...let go. I will get you something to eat." Lan Zhan whispers. **

**"No..Closer...come closer...I can't see you." **

_Wei Ying has no intention of letting his saviour go. He is determined to keep this person here no matter what. _

_'I must be bold now if I am to make this person stay.' he thinks._

**"Wei Ying...focus...I am right here. You need to let me go." he says.**

_Wei Ying puts his mouth next to the strangers ear again._

_ 'I must seduce him...hehehe' he thinks smiling mischievously._

**"No, closer....let me see you...I want you...", Wei Ying says as he takes Lan Zhan's ear lobe in his mouth, sucks on it.**

_'There. That should do it' , Wei Ying says to him self._

**"Wei Ya...Ah..."**

_Wei Ying feels the warmth engulfing him again. He feels soft hands on his back and a wet mouth latching on his shoulder blade. His body buzzes with energy and arousal as pleasure and pain shoot though his body and reach his soul. His heart feels warm._

**"More...ah..more....don't ...stop." Wei Ying says breathlesly. **

_Wei Ying has never felt like this before. The stranger is giving him more just like he had asked him to. He feels pecks and nips on his neck as the stranger cups his face in his hands and kisses his jaw reverently._

_He wants to know who this person is who is giving him so much pleasure._

**"Mmmm.....ahhhh...feels so good...show me....ahhh...show me please...." Wei Ying begs.**

**"Show me...." Wei Ying pleads again.**

**Lan Zhan puts his face close to his friend's "What do you want to see? Tell me what you want Wei Ying?"**

**"Show me...who you are...please." Wei Ying whispers.**

_Suddenly the warmth is gone. And someone starts to hold his arms and move them._

_'No....!!!! What is happening?' he thinks as he fights back. _

_'Who is shaking me like this? I must catch them.' he tries to grabe the person who is being mean to him._

_'What did I ever do to you? I don't even know you...ok maybe he did do something. Maybe it's the same hot stranger. Maybe I went overboard?' many questions arise in his mind._

**"Who are you? Don't go! Don't leave me. Please." he begs.**

_Wei Ying realises that he is alone once more but he is not cold anymore. _

_'Looks like the stranger did manage to save me. If only I could see who it was.' he thinks wishfully as waits for someone to come and save him._

_Wei Ying hears someone call his name softly "Wei Ying"_

_"Who is there?" he asks and l_ _ight floods the cave once again. Wei Ying looks at the source of the sound of his name and he sees Lan Zhan standing there...expresionlessly._

_"Why are you here Master Lan? Didn't I tell you to leave me. Didn't I tell you that I don't need you" Wei Ying says irretatedly._

_"..." Lan Zhan._

_"Why are you here Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying asks walking towards Hanguang Jun._

_"I need you Wei Ying. Come back to Gusu with me." , Lan Zhan says not meeting his friend's eyes._

_"Ha ha...just as I had thought. You want to fix me , don't you Lan Zhan? But guess what? I don't need saving." he says walking closer still. The two of them are standing close facing each other._

_Hanguang Jun looks at Wei Ying's eyes and the his eyes fall to his friend's lips and in one swift move the Light Bearer pulls Wei Ying flush against his body and captures his friend's lips with his own ._  
_Wei Ying hesitates for a moment but instantly succumbs to the kiss and returns it with same enthusiasum, his hands come up to cup Hanguang Jun's face. _  
_Lan Zhan breaks the kiss and looks at his friend with questioning eyes. _

_Wei Ying understands that Lan Zhan is asking for permission._  
_Wei Ying nods._

_Lan Zhan bridges the gap between their lips and deepens the kiss._

_"ah.. Lan Zhan.. " Wei Ying moans as Lan Zhan let's go of Wei Ying's lips a starts kissing and sucking on his neck all the while trying to disrobe him. Water splashes everywhere._

_"Lan Zhan.. Slow down. " Wei Ying whispers and tries to put his hands on Hanguang Jun's shoulder...before he can do so he hears loud noises and he is suddenly being pulled into a dark hole. _

_The last thing Wei Ying sees is Lan Zhan getting left behind alone in the cave confused. _

_Everything goes dark. _

** {Part 2 - end} **

***************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave Kudos if you have enjoyed it. Comments are appreciated too.


	7. It was him

Wei Ying wakes up on the floor of a place he doesn't exactly remember being in before.   
He looks around. There is no one there except him. He is dressed in Lan Zhan's outer robes._ '???'._  
He sits on the bed and calms himself down. He remembers his dream.

_"_It was Lan Zhan....it has always been him." Wei Ying says out loud as tips of his ears turn red and his heart does a summersault in his chest.

It is then that he hears the clanging sound of swords..._'Bichen'..._he thinks.

He puts on his shoes, takes his flute and runs out of the room.

He tries to open the door but realises that it has been locked by a spell.

_'Lan Zhan's spell'_ , he smiles.   
He takes care of the spell with another spell and opens the door. He steps out and finds blood a few feet way.

_'Lan Zhan...Lan Zhan....why...'_ he doesn't finish that train of thought. He knows Lan Zhan never asks for anything. He just gives._'His Lan Zhan'_

Wei Ying looks around and sees a few more corps being led away from the house. 

He hears the music of the zither but it doesn't sound powerful. It sounds hollow...empty somehow.

_'Is Lan Zhan Ok?'_ he panicks.

Wei Ying picks up his flute and starts playing a tune.

Through the corner of his eyes Lan Zhan sees that something is attracting the corpses back towards the house _'The same house where his Wei Ying is lying defenseless'._

He doubles his efforts and chops of limb after limb of the undead things as he makes his way back towards the dwelling.

All the corpses turn and face the house as if waiting for someone to tell them what to do.

When Lan Zhan finally gets a view of the house he sees that the corpses are gathered in front to the house.

There are at lest twenty to thirty corpses _'Maybe more,'_ gathered in front of the house.  
_'How are there so many? When did they get there? '_ he wonders as he sees more and more corpses joining in.

_'Something is wrong.'_ he thinks looking at he corpses that are just standing there without much movement. They look to be swaying on the spot.

As Lan Zhan gets closer he hears a familiar flute music.

_'Wei Ying...it's him...it's his music'. _  
_'He woken up already???'_  
_'But he is still hurt.' _  
_'He should not have left our bed.....the bed...THE BED.'_  
_'There is one bed and _**_Only_**_ Wei Ying will be using it.'_

Needless to say Lan Zhan's mind is a very chaotic ,confused, anxious place at that moment .   
There is worry itched all over his face as he runs towards the house. Towards Wei Ying.

Wei Ying observes that the corpes are not fighting each other. They just seem to be in a daze... _'What the heck!' _

He had been working on a new piece of music, that if it worked would be deadly to the corpses. But since it is a powerful tune it would invariably hurt him too. He knows it's risky but even so he decides to give it a try.

_'Here goes nothing...well there is still my life I have to think about... but I AM desperate....if I don't do this both me and Lan Zhan might not make it out alive. _' he thinks and starts playing a completely different tune.

The corpses first still and then fall to the ground and combust.

Wei Ying feels drained and he spits out blood. _'ooookkk... So that happened. But at least ...I am still in one piece... Also, Lan Zhan didn't witness it...hehe... . ' _he thinks , thanking his lucky stars.

_**"Wei Wuxian" **_, Lan Zhan says in a hard, cold and angry voice.   
But his heart is singing a different tune _'Why Wei Ying... You stupid brave fool. Why do you keep risking your life!' _

"Well fuck, this is regretable.", Wei Ying says.... to no one in particular after being caught spitting blood.

"Hanguang Jun , well I... " he starts but is cut off.

"**Reckless**" Lan Zhan says in the same cold hard angry voice as before.

_'I must do some damage control.'_ Wei Ying thinks and as if on cue he staggers back and holds on to the door frame for support.

Lan Zhan is instantly by his side worried and concerned. Gently holding him...wrapping his one arm around Wei Ying's shoulders and supporting his waist with the other.

"Wei Ying....why ?" Lan Zhan says softly looking at the man in his arms lovingly.

Wei Ying's heart does another flip-flop in his chest.  
_'Since when has Lan Zhan been this gentle with me?'_ Wei Ying tries to recall as he puts his hand over his chest to make it calm down.

"Wei Ying... What is it?" Lan Zhan says, misinterpreting the situation and puts his hand over Wei Ying's.

_'Wei Ying you have been so blind...Lan Zhan has always been there for you...protecting you. He truly is a magnificent man... And hot as Fuck... Wait where did that come from.... Oh you know where it came from Wei Ying... You Pervert. For all you know he likes Mianmian...afterall he did get jealous that one time in the cave.'...' but then he had said that I shoudn't flirt without meaning it.... Did he think I was flirting with him then? But even if he thought I was flirting with him, he did not get disgusted with me... so maybe I have a chance. ', his_ brain supplies. His mind blanks out for a few seconds.

Lan Zhan who is looking at Wei Ying's face all this time doesn't understand why his usually talkative friend has gone quiet and is staring at him.

_'Wei Ying say something' _

_'Did he by chance remember what I did to him when he was not in a position to give consent or stop me?'_  
_'Has he remembered that I hurt him and almost took him?'_ Hanguang Jun wonders.  
His heart hurts the same way it did when he had seen Wei Ying fall to his death so many years ago.

"Wei Ying... Focus" is all that comes out of Hanguang Jun's mouth.

"Haha.. I am ok Lan Zhan...much better now. See...all better." Wei Ying smiles and wipes the blood from his mouth on the robes. 

_'Shit. Lan Zhan's robes.'_ Wei Ying thinks looking at the once beautiful but now bloody robes.

_'I am going to die.... What's more... I am going to die a virgin... again.....in this life as well. Lan Zhan will kill me before I can confess my love to him... Wait ...hold on right there... Did I just say confess my love to him.... Do I really love him? ...Do I? Or am I just infatuated with him?.. Wait am I a cut-sleeve for wanting to kiss his beautiful face and spend the rest of my life with him? But Lan Zhan can never be a cut-sleeve... he is gorgeous enough to convert men to become cut sleeve though right... That would explain it. ' _ Wei Ying thinks completely zoning out.

"Wei Ying...Wei Ying." Lan Zhan calls his friend's name while waving his hand in front of his face.

"Hmm? " Wei Ying murmurs and smiles at Lan Zhan in a goofy way.

_'I think I broke him'_ , Lan Zhan thinks dejectedly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Note :- Hello WangXian fans. Hope you are liking the story so far. I do try to update every day but weekends are busy so the update may be pushed by a day or two.  
As always please comment and give feedback. Please leave Kudos if you have liked it. These things really encourage me.  
Thank you for reading }


	8. A New Strategy

"Ahhh. Lan Zhan sorry . I tainted you robes...I will wash them for you ok. Don't be mad. Ok." he says guiltily. 

"Not necessary." Lan Zhan says looking at Wei Ying tenderly.

Wei Ying's smile is gone in an instant and is replaced by worry as he finally looks at Lan Zhan who is hurt at multiple places and is bleeding.

"Lan Zhan, " he says lifting his hand to touch the wond on his friend's arm but stops it mid air and takes it back.

"It's nothing." Wangji says lightly.

"Lan Zhan. Just because you are stronger than me doesn't mean you can say whatever you want and get away with it. " Wei Ying says putting his hand under Wangji's chin and lifting it up.   
Wei Ying leans into Lan Zhan and says "You are hurt Er. Gege....Look at you. Do you even know how to take care of yourself? What if something happens to you? Who will protect this weak man then. Hmm?"   
Wei Ying feels brave. He moves closer. Their faces all but touching.

"Do you know how much I love... " Wei Ying doesn't complete his sentence. He looks down, fringing shyness.

Lan Zhan looks at him.   
"How much you love what? " he asks Wei Ying.   
"Your cloths... " , he says as he look up and smirks.

Lan Zhan sighs and looks down.

"Aaaand... Your sexy body... " , Wei Ying continues.

"Shameless", Lan Zhan mutters as a force of habit and a faint smile forms on his lips.

He lifts his face to look at Wei Ying again, but his eyes instead fall on the faint red marks on the side of Wei Ying's neck and his face falls and becomes cold.  
_'He will never forgive me if he finds out how I took advantage of him'._

"Aioo Lan Zhan...don't be like this agin." he says giving a sweet smilie to Lan Zhan while pulling on his sleeve with his fingers just as he had done many years ago before getting Hanguang Jun drunk.

Lan Zhan looks up at his friend's smiling face and remembers their carefree days spent in Cloud Recessess.   
_'What I would not give to go back to those days' _he thinks wishfully and smiles a small barely there smile.

"Aaa Lan Zhan , you smiled....hehe. Look how beautiful your face looks when you smile. Promise me that you will smile more from now on....Promise me Lan Zhan." he says happily.

"Mm."

With that Lan Zhan holds his friend gently and supporting him both walk inside the house.

Once inside Lan Zhan takes him to the room and helps him onto the bed.

"Lan Zhan, how did you get hurt?"

"..."

"Those corpses were no match for Bichen and your zither. I heard you playing. It didn't feel right. Like something was missing. What is it Lan Zhan? Tell me." he pleads.

"It's nothing. You need to rest.", Lan Zhan tries to change the subject.

"Contrary to what you may think Second Master Lan... I can help you. Please don't be discouraged by my unworthy fragile body, my mind is still my own and it's as strong as ever." Wei Ying says not letting his friend escape the question.

"You are worthy. " Lan Zhan finally says.  
"Hmm?" Wei Ying asks confused.

Lan Wangji just keeps looking at him expressionlessly for a few seconds.   
'_You are worthy Wei Ying. It is me who is unworthy... Unworthy of your trust... Unworthy of your friendship... Unworthy of your company.'_ he thinks.

"Anyway, what I am saying is that you need to tell me what's wrong" he says finally.

Without meeting Wei Ying's eyes Lan Zhan asks "How are you feeling? Is the wound hurting a lot?"  
"Lan Zhan... Are you even listening to me?... OK... OK. I am alright. My wound doesn't hurt much. " he says giving up on asking his friend about the wounds he sustained.

"Are you hungry? You wait here . I will go and get something..." , Lan Zhan says turning around and walking towards the door.

"Lan Zhan ...Lan Zhan...do I look so hideous that you can't even look at me?" Wei Ying says as he grabs one of Lan Zhan's wrist.

"Not true." Lan Zhan says ..face devoid of any expression.

"What's not true?"

"You are not hideous."

"Hahaha...Lan Zhan you truly are something...Don't you want your questions answered before you leave?" Wei Ying asks with a mischievious smile playing on his face.

Lan Zhan "..."

"Ok then, you may leave me..if you are not interested in the answers." Wei Ying stand up and comes up right behind his friend and bumps his shoulder with his own.   
"Go, go on...leave me again...just like you did sometime back" he continues while pouting his lips.

Lan Zhan turns to face him. He sees Wei Ying looking at the floor. He can't see the look on his face.

"Wei Ying...I didn't.." he says bending down trying to look at his eyes.

"You didn't what , Lan Zhan?" he asks continuing to look down.

"Wei Ying, please..." Lan Zhan brings his face closer.

"No....No....No...No" he start shaking his head from side to side.

Lan Zhan still can't see Wei Ying's face so he subconsciously steps closer trying to get thru to Wei Ying and tries to cup Wei Ying's face with both hands. But because Wei Ying is moving it too much he narrowly misses even after multiple tries.   
Lan Zhan moves closer still and at the same time Wei Ying lifts his head up and their lips connect for a second before parting.

Their eyes lock with each other, and they stand staring at each other for what feels like forever but it's only a few seconds.   
Lan Zhan breaks the eye contact first and staggers backwards and looks to the floor.

_'What did I just do??'_ Wangji's brain screams.

_'They are soft.... Just like in the dream', _Wei Ying thinks as he raises his hand to touch his lips.

The corners of his lips lift up in a small smile.

Lan Zhan misses the smile. He turns his face away from Wei Ying.   
_'Before he tells me to get out I will leave.'_

"Wei Ying, you have lost a lot of blood. I am going to the town to get you some food and medicines." he says and starts walking out of the house.

"OK then. Get enough for both of us will you? I felt guilty about last time when I ate everything you got without realizing that it was for both of us." Wei Ying shouts at Lan Zhan's back.

"Mm" Lan Zhan say as he walks out of the house and closes the door leaving a very flustered Wei Ying behind.

Wei Ying's eyes follow his friend leave, his life feels empty somehow.

_'He just left??? Just like that? After what happened.. '_

_'What the actual heck!?'_

Then he puts on a brave face. And smiles.

"Lan Zhan...Er gege... just face it. There is no woman who would want to be tied to an unromantic person like you" Wei Ying says smiling to himself.

"So unless you want to spend the rest of your life alone and miserable you better learn to accept that you belong only with me" he continues confidently.

_'Second master Lan... Er. Gege...I will make you fall in love with me.'_ Wei Ying thinks to himself.... Totally unaware of the fact that the man he was going to try and win over had already fallen for him years ago.

_'Afterall I am nothing, if not persistent....and Shameless....Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan.... I will show you exactly how shameless I can be when I want to.'_ These are Wei Ying's last thoughts before he lies down on the bed _'their bed'_ and drifts off to a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying it.   
Please leave Kudos and comments if you did.


	9. Shameless

Now that Lan Zhan had put some distance between him and the man he had loved for nearly two decades his mind clears up.   
_'I can finally think straight.'_ the tells himself.

_'Are you sure you are capable of thinking straight?' _his heart mockingly asks him.

Hanguang Jun takes a deep breath and quickens his steps. He needs to get pain killers and lots of food.   
_'Wei Ying sure has a mighty appetite.'_ he thinks fondly. He realizes then that he is actually smiling.

_'Wei Ying is ok. Weak but not critical. He will be completely fine in no time. I will make sure of it.'_ he promises himself as he enters the market place.

The market thought small looks to be well stocked with appetizing eatables.  
He approaches a shop selling soups and orders Lotus Ribs Soup.   
_'Wei Ying would love this.'_ he smiles again

The shop keeper looks at him funny.   
"Young master?" he says

Lan Zhan "Mm? "

"Did you happen to run into undead corpses on your way?" the shopkeeper enquires.

"Mm."

"Are they on their way here? "

"No. Dead. "

"Did You kill them?"

"Mm" Lan Zhan says not wanting to say anything about how or who killed them.

The shopkeeper leaves his stall and bows to thank him.

"Even though they never set foot in the village or the market they were very bad for business. Thank you young master of helping us. If there is anything more you need just let me know."  
He looks at the multiple wounds on Lan Zhan and continues "There is a medical doctor right in the alley if you would like, I can take you there once I am done with your order. He is very good. "

"Mm." Lan Zhan nods.

After a few minutes the shopkeeper hands over the soup 'No charge' to Lan Zhan and they proceed to the doctor's shop.

They go inside.

When Lan Zhan comes back to the house he notices that everything is as he had left it. He doesn't feel the midwife's presence either.

_'Wei Ying was tired. He must still be sleeping'_ he thinks to himself as he enters the house and closes the door behind him.   
Even so he knocks on the door and keeping his eyes on the ground he opens the door just a bit.

"Lan Zhan, is that you?"

"Mm"

"What are you doing standing outside Lan Er. Gege, just come inside"

Lan Zhan walks inside carrying all the things he had acquired at the market. A few steps in he looks at his friend and he stops dead in his tracks. Wei Ying is sitting with one of his shoulders exposed... bare.

"Hanguang Jun... " he says not looking at Lan Zhan but at his shoulder blade. The same one Lan Zhan had left a bite mark on. "how did I get hurt here? It's an awkward place to get a bump and it's stinging. Come. Take a look."

Lan Zhan feels like his feet are stuck in the ground. He can't seem to move.

_'I might as well come clean. I might lose him but at least my conscience will be clear.'_ he thinks and gets ready for the hate he is going to be subjected to soon.

"Sorry..I.. I.. " he starts, but is cut off.

"Lan Zhan, you got food? " Wei Ying says excitedly as he fixes his robes and walks over to his friend.

"Mn." Lan Zhan says leaving a breath he did not know he was holding.

Wei Ying takes the items from his hands and turns to the table. He puts it on the table and excitedly opens it.

"Hanguang Jun.... " he whispers as his eyes fall on the neatly packed lotus rib soup.

  
He turns and throws himself at Lan Zhan and before Lan Zhan can form a coherent thought in his mind he is engulfed in Wei Ying's warm soft embrace.   
Wei Ying's body shakes.

_'He is crying. But I thought he will be happy.'_ Lan Zhan thinks dejectedly.

"You have made me so happy Lan Zhan." Wei Ying says still embracing his friend.

"Do you know how I have wanted to have this since returning from the dead?" Wei Ying says, letting go of his friend .

"Lan Zhan... " Wei Ying says cupping his friend's face with his hands and continues "Please forgive me for what I am about to do..ok. And don't kill me."

Wei Ying without a second's notice starts peppering Hanguang Jun's face with kisses like a small child..carefully avoiding his lips.

Lan Zhan is stunned. Unable to move.   
_'Is this a dream or is Wei Ying actually kissing me?' _

Lan Zhan doesn't know what to do with his hands so he just let's them dangle at his sides.

After what feels like hundreds of kisses Lan Zhan can't take it anymore.  
Wei Ying's innocent child like kisses are not being recognized as child like by Lan Zhan's body. He feels hot and his heart starts beating faster. If he doesn't stop Wei Ying now Lan Zhan is sure do something bad... Really bad. Something that may result in him losing his best friend forever.

Hanguang Jun puts his hands on Wei Ying's wrists and gently removes his friend's hands from his face "Wei Ying that's enough," he says and steps away.

Wei Ying is still smiling.  
Lan Zhan's heart beats a little faster.

"OK.. OK... I won't irritate you any more" he says and turns to the table once more.

"You got medical supplies... Good." Wei Ying says pleased.

He takes the medicine and the bandages along with a few other things and turns to face Lan Zhan.

"....." ,Lan Zhan looks at the supplies in his friend's hands.

"For the wound" , Wei Ying says simply.

"Eat first. I have already attended to your wound. " Lan Zhan informs his friend.

"It's for your wounds Er. Gege...or have you forgotten that you were injured?" Wei Ying says walking towards Lan Zhan.

"Not necessary." Lan Zhan says taking a step back and lowering his eyes.

  
Wei Ying steps forward.  
"Are you going to stop me Hanguang Jun?" Wei Ying says confidently taking steps towards Lan Zhan till he has backed Lan Zhan against the bedroom wall.

"Hm?" Wei Ying says mischievously... daring his friend to say something.

When Lan Zhan just stands there looking at him, Wei puts the items on the stool next to the bed and looks at Lan Zhan.

"Lan Zhan, let me take care of you", he says as his hands move towards the belt holding his friend's cloths in place.

"**Wei Ying**.." Lan Zhan says trying to sound cold and swatting his friend's hands away. "What are you doing?"

"Aaa...Lan Zhan...stop being unreasonable."

"No." Lan Zhan persists.

Wei Ying takes a deep breath and takes his mouth close to the other's ears and says, "I see... so that is how it is..." Lan Zhan's attention is completely on what Wei Ying is saying.  
Taking advantage of this Wei Ying's hands travel to the belts again as he continues , "....you can undress me..." he undoes the belt and it falls to the floor ,"...and you can touch me... " he says putting his hand inside Lan Zhan's now loose robes and putting them on top of his heart, "but... you forbid me from doing the same to you..." Wei Ying looks at his friend's face now, "Lan Zhan... tell me how is that fair?"

When Lan Zhan doesn't say anything and keeps looking at his friend, Wei Ying maintaining their eye contact puts his other hand on his friend's robes and slides them off completely.

The white robes fall to the floor unceremoniously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave Kudos if you have enjoyed it.


	10. You are Perfect

Lan Zhan doesn't know why he doesn't stop Wei Ying as his friend disrobes him. He doesn't say anything as Wei Ying takes a step back and looks at him. He doesn't even say anything when Wei Ying's hands stroke the Wen brand mark on his chest with a sad look on his face.

All he knows is that he has no right to stop Wei Ying.  
He doesn't even want to stop Wei Ying....he has dreamt of being touched like this. He has wanted Wei Ying's hands all over him.

_'Lan Zhan ....do you even have the right to think like this...in this perverted way about your best friend after what you did to him.' _he scolds himself.  
After all, he had done things he was not proud of.  
But the simple truth is, even if he hadn't done those things Lan Zhan knows that he would not stop Wei Ying... He did not have it in him to refuse Wei Ying... anything.

He would willingly die for the man in front of him because when it came to Wei Ying, no sacrifice was big enough.

"Lan Zhan, I know you are not ready to tell me how you got this mark on you...so I will not push you for answers but know this... we are past the stage of keeping secrets from each other. You said to me in my past life that you consider me to be your soulmate...Do you still feel the same Lan Zhan?"

"Mn." Lan Zhan nods.

"Then I hope, one day soon you will tell me all that your heart holds deep within itself...ok?" Wei Ying says lovingly

"Mn." Lan Zhan nods again.

Wei Ying takes Lan Zhan's hand in his and leads him to the bed.

"Sit. Let me see how careless you have been." Wei Ying says gently pushing Lan Zhan on the bed and starts examining his friend's front.  
The most obvious wound is the one on his forearm.  
Wei Ying gets to work on that first.  
He then turns his attention to a smaller one just above the place where the Wen brand mark sits. Wei Ying's eyes linger on it for a few seconds before me gives his attention to the wound.

He moves closer to Lan Zhan, turns his body around and sits on the bed. He pushes Lan Zhan's beautiful long silky hair towards the front.  
He sees that his friend's back has not received any wounds... But his beautiful back is marred with whip marks.  
Without thinking Wei Ying's hands gently touch the others back. He traces the numerous lines.... ('Whip marks' Wei Ying tells himself), on his friend's back. He wonders again what kind of unforgivable Sins deserve this kind of harsh punishment.  
_'I hope I was not the reason why Lan Zhan got these.' _he hopes.

Lan Zhan's body stiffens but he doesn't say anything.

"Hanguang Jun...it must have hurt so much... Your beautiful body.... How could anyone do such a thing to you?" Wei Ying says as silent tears falling from his eyes.

"Does it look hideous....does it...does it.  
...disgust you?" Lan Zhan asks, holding his breath.

This time though, Wei Ying is speechless. He doesn't understand how the most beautiful person he had ever seen think like that. With or without the marks on his body Lan Zhan is perfect...he has **always** been perfect.

When Wei Ying doesn't answer , Lan Zhan feels a sharp piercing pain in his heart.  
_'He would never be able to love me.... Not with how I look now....Wei Ying's body has no marks on it... The Wen brand on his chest is gone too.... I must indeed look hideous to him. '_ Lan Zhan thinks as he tries to stand up.

"Hanguang Jun... " Wei Ying says and hugs his friend's back. He puts his cheek on Lan Zhan's back. "You are not hideous Lan Zhan ... you do NOT disgust me."

Lan Zhan feels his back getting wet.  
_'Wei Ying is crying... is he crying for me? That can't be...maybe his injury is hurting'._

"Wei... " Lan Zhan stats to ask when Wei Ying says in a quiet soft voice "You are Perfect Lan Zhan....you are perfect just the way you are. So perfect. Don't ever say these words to me ever again.... Don't ever think them. I forbid you to even think such things...Alright? Promise me Lan Zhan."

"Mn." Lan Zhan says and nods. He let's go of the breath he didn't know he was holding and he smiles.  
_'He thinks I am perfect. He doesn't find these marks disgusting...he doesn't hate me.'_

Wei Ying wants to tell him how he feels, he wants to know if Lan Zhan feels the same for him.

"Lan Zhan...I..wanted to... " Wei Ying begins to say when there is a knock on the door.  
Wei Ying immediately let's go of his friend and stands and grabs his flute.

Lan Zhan is not far behind. He pick up his robe and dresses himself.

There is another knock on the door.  
"Young Master, it's me." comes a lady's voice.  
Lan Zhan gently puts his hand on his friend's flute and tells him that it safe.  
Wei Ying relaxes.  
He pastes a formal smile on his face and walks to the door with his friend.

Lan Zhan opens the door.  
It's the midwife who has returned.  
She looks tired.  
Her eyes fall on Wei Ying who is smiling and she smiles too.  
"You are looking much better. Looks like your partner took good care of you." she says her eyes shifting to look at Lan Zhan and then back to him.

This time Lan Zhan doesn't deny about being Wei Ying's partner...and neither does Wei Ying.

Wei Ying walks to the lady bows to her.  
"Thank you for opening your home to us madam." he says with utmost respect.

"Looking at the corpses outside, it is I who must thank you young masters." she says humbly.

"Madam, if it's not too much trouble could you let us spend the night?" he asks hopefully.

"It would be my pleasure." she says.

"I was about to cook. I will make something special for all of us. Would the young masters accept my invitation? " she asks looking at both of them.  
Lan Zhan nods.

"Madam, my friend here has bought some lotus root and pork rib soup when he went out. Would you do us the honor of sharing it with us? It would be our contribution to the meal." Wei Ying says smiling. He knows the lady wouldn't refuse him.

She nods and start cooking.  
Lan Zhan being the gentleman he is immediately follows her and starts helping her.

"Young Master, what are you doing? You are my guest. " she says feeling embarrassed.

"Madam, " Wei Ying interrupts , "let him help you. He is extremely good at everything he does...he is sooooo.... sooo very good with his hands." he says winking at Lan Zhan.

The midwife looks at the young men and smiles.

"Stop embarrassing me and yourself Wei Ying." Lan Zhan scolding says.

Lan Zhan looks down and tries to concentrate on what he is doing.  
_'If Wei Ying doesn't stop talking in that tone I might jump him right here... Right Now... Propriety be damned!'_ his heart screams.

Tips of Lan Zhan's ears turn red. And Wei Ying notices it.  
Joy fills him. His body buzzes with excitement.  
_'Adorable...and Perfect . My Lan Zhan.'_ he thinks, and puts his hand on the red mark on his shoulder blade which is currently hidden under his robes. ...gently caressing it as he looks at his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so how are u liking the story so far.  
Let me know in comments section and if u are enjoying it please leave Kudos.


	11. A Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note :- As mentioned earlier the story diverges from canon so things happen differently here.   
Please let me know how you are liking it so far  
Please leave Kudos if you have enjoyed it.

  
As they sit to have their dinner, Wei Ying asks the midwife about her family and she happily talks about her children and grandchildren.  
She is smart so she never asks any personal questions to the young men sitting at the table.

Wei Ying tells her about how he bugged Lan Zhan till he finally befriended him. He tells how he had stunned everyone with his perfect archery skills once upon a time.

Then Wei Ying asks what he actually wanted to from the moment they had sat down to have dinner, "Madam, have you ever been to Lotus Cove?"

The midwife is surprised at being asked this and say, " No, I haven't. But I have a few friends who work in their kitchens. They tell me that since Clan leader Cheng took over Lotus Cove things have become much more difficult for them. They can't slack off either. Clan Leader is always angry. They tell me that he has earned the nickname 'Angry Lotus' because of his attitude."

_'Well that's not surprising.'_ Wei Ying thinks smiling to himself.

The midwife continues, "By the way... I am not sure if it's completely true but I heard a rather odd rumor the other day."

Wei Ying looks at her questioningly and asks her to proceed.

The midwife continues her story, "You see, my friend who works in the kitchen heard rumors that a girl had come to visit her brother who was studying at Lotus Cove. The siblings met and the brother even took her out to show her around. When they came back they were very happy. He told everyone how his sister was going to get married to a very accomplished cultivator from the Lan sect." she pauses and sighs, then continues, "The night before she was to leave for home, shouts were heard from her room. You see she was staying in one of the guest rooms at the far eastern end of Lotus Cove."   
The midwife stops and pours Lotus root and pork rib soup in the bowls and serves it to them.  
"And? " Wei Ying asks unable to control himself.

The midwife continues again, "My friend said that the girl had died before the guards got there. As to how the girl died is still a mystery....but that's not all. When the Clan leader was informed about the incident he personally went to inform the young man about what had happened to his sister. To their surprise the young man had gone missing as well. The last anyone saw him was earlier that same night. After searching for half a day he was finally found by a maid...all my friend could get out of her was that he too was found dead."

Wei Ying's curiosity is peaked he asked, "Where was he found?.. And what was the cause of death?"

"Now that is the other suspicious thing. The maid who found him was paid handsomely and relieved of her duty. My friend had tried to talk to her into revealing some details but she kept her mouth shut. And the same day she left Yunmeng...Isn't that surprising young Master? Also very suspicious..if you ask me" the midwife says finishing the bowl of soup and looking up at the two men.   
There is disbelief on Wei Ying's face and Lan Zhan is looking at his friend with a worried expression.

Looking at the impact her story had had on the wounded young master the midwife tries to lighten the mood, "Young Master, if you ask me personally I would say that I don't believe it. My friend though very good, likes to make up things very often just to attract attention...that is her one flaw, ...so it is very likely that this time too it was just her attempt at sounding interesting." she finishes and gives Wei Ying's hands a gentle squeeze.

Lan Zhan sees this . His face becomes doused in vinegar. He doesn't understand why people keep touching his Wei Ying so casually ...and Wei Ying allows it.

Wei Ying smiles at the midwife, "So what you mean to say is that it's not a confirmed news? ".

The midwife shakes her head.  
"You see I was curious so I asked around some more. I also asked my other acquaintances who work at Lotus Cove too but they said that they had heard nothing about the matter. And some days ago when I asked her if she had any news on the matter she just changed the topic. She hasn't mentioned it afterwards." the midwife shrugs her shoulders and starts clearing the table.

Lan Zhan helps the lady while Wei Ying continues to sit on the chair and stares at his friend.   
_'So domestic...'_ Wei Ying thinks and starts to blush. Wei Ying doesn't know why he is blushing while looking at Lan Zhan doing perfectly mundane things.

Once the chores are done, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan thank their host lady. She gives them a smile and retires to her room.

Wei Ying closed the door and stands facing Lan Zhan with eyes full of questions.  
"What?", Lan Zhan asks.   
Wei Ying walks to the bed taking the other man's hand and sits them down. He faces Wangji. He licks his lips and starts, "Lan Zhan, there is something that I need to confess to you ...for sometime now."

Lan Zhan looks his friend in the eyes and nods.   
"But before I do so you have to promise me two things." Wei Ying pleads with his eyes and Wangji nods.   
"First, I need you to promise me that you will listen to me and respect my wishes. "

Hearing this Lan Zhan gets a bad feeling. He knows whatever it is that his friend wants to tell him is serious, but he nods.

"Second, you will not abandon me." he says with tears in his eyes.   
Looking at his friend's sad eyes Lan Zhan's heart feels like it has been ripped in half.  
"Wei Ying.. " he starts to say but his friend put his finger on his lips.

"Lan Zhan...just answer me in yes or no. " he says and removes his finger from Lan Zhan's lips.

Lan Zhan nods.

"Don't forget your promise Hanguang Jun." he says and continues speaking.   
"Lan Zhan, you must have wondered back then why I turned to this path of demonic cultivation? Why I don't carry my sword on me anymore. Why I would rather be insulted than have a sword fight?".  
"Why I refused your help? Why I ignored you words? And why the thought of coming back to Gusu was unacceptable to me?"

Lan Zhan's heart is sinking hearing these words. He had indeed thought about them numerous times over the years.

"The truth is...Lan Zhan... I can't yield Subian anymore. That powerful sword is just a sharp piece of metal in my hands now." Wei Ying says look down.

"I lost my Golden Core Lan Zhan. I didn't have it from the time I came back from burial mounds." Wei Ying says, still looking down.  
A few minutes pass but there are still no words from Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan feels like a ton of bricks are crushing his heart. His feels like he can't breathe. He wants this confession to be just a nightmare... Or a joke... but he knows it's not. He knows Wei Ying will never joke about such a serious matter.   
Slowly the realization of what Wei Ying just confessed , sinks in.


	12. Anything means Anything

  
Wei Ying looks up at Lan Zhan expectecting to see dissapointment in his friend's eyes but what he sees are tears.   
"Lan Zhan.... I am sorry to disappoint you. I am sorry that I can't yield the sword again. Please Lan Zhan don't ...." he says wiping Lan Zhan's tears.

"I know I am not worthy of your friendship....i can't... I know I am selfish to want you next to me...but please... Just please try to look past it. Lan Zhan I need you... Lan Zhan say something please." Wei Ying pleads again looking into Lan Zhan's eyes.

"How?" Lan Zhan asks after a few seconds.  
"Wen Zulio." Wei Ying lies. It's not exactly a lie.

"Did it hurt?" Lan Zhan enquires.  
"Will you believe me if I said it didn't hurt?" Wei Ying smiles but his eyes are sad.

"Can it be restored...your core?" Lan Zhan enquires again.   
"No, not exactly. That is not important. Just know that my Golden core is gone." Wei Ying finishes saying like the matter has ended.

"In the morning I tried to transfer my spiritual energy to you but your body rejected it. Is it because your body doesn't have the Golden core anymore?" Lan Zhan asks.

"This new body is indeed week. It's not spiritually awakened. So maybe that is why it rejected the energy transfer.... There may still be a chance to awaken the core which Mo* had... but for now it is still dormant ....presuming it's still there. For all I know when MO gave up his body and soul to bring me back, his golden core got destroyed with him." Wei Ying says dejectedly.

After none of them have spoken for a few seconds Wei Ying finally says smiling, a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, "I am now a mediocre person....so.. I hope I can burden Hanguang Jun to take care of this feeble body of mine."

"No." Lan Zhan says.   
Wei Ying looks at him confused, "What? "

"Not mediocre...you are Wei Ying." Lan Zhan says as he takes his friend in his arms and holds him for a few seconds before letting him go.

"So that means you will not abandon me right? " Wei Ying asks happily.  
Lan Zhan nods.

They keep looking at each other for a few seconds.

Wei Ying holds his friend's hand then and says, "Lan Zhan, there is something I need to ask you..."

Lan Zhan nods.

"Hanguang Jun, " he says still holding his friend's hand, his other hand moves to touch to his shoulder blade, Lan Zhan's eyes follow Wei Ying's hand.  
Panicking, he tries to pull away his hand from the others grip. Wei Ying grips his hand tighter and continues, "I know what you did..".

Lan Zhan feels like someone just slapped his face. He feels absolutely miserable. He breaks their eye contact. His face is a mix of guilt and sadness.

Keeping his head down Lan Zhan begins in a low voice , "Wei Ying, I am..." but he doesn't know how to put his feelings into words.   
_'Let him assume what he wants to.... I have no excuse for what I did to him.'_ he thinks and looks at his friend.

He notices that Wei Ying is not looking at him with anger or accusations in his eyes. Wei Ying's eyes are looking at him as if searching for something.

"Lan Zhan, I really need you to answer my questions now." Wei Ying says.

"Mn." Lan Zhan nods.

"Do you regret it?" Wei Ying turns his head to the side and continues, "Do you regret this."

"Mn." Hanguang Jun nods as a single tear leaves his eyes makes it down his cheek.

Wei Ying feels like someone stabbed his heart. He wants to cry.   
He puts on a brave face and continues, "Why do you regret it?"

For a long time Lan Zhan doesn't say anything. He is thinking about how he can salvage his friendship. If he can't have Wei Ying as a partner he at least he wants the man in front of him as a companion.   
He looks at Wei Ying again and that is when he remembers the conversation they just had. He remembers that Wei Ying had made him promise that he... Lan Zhan can never abandon him.

Wei Ying had said those things knowing what Lan Zhan had done to him. Wei Ying had smiled and been his usual clingy self when he had returned from market. He had chatted with him... and gently tended to his wounds. He had showered him with happy innocent kisses.   
_'Do I still have a chance at being with him?' _his heart hopes.

Wei Ying is still waiting for an answer.

Lan Zhan puts on a determined expression and says, "Wei Ying, I regret my actions because I violated your body. I took advantage of your unconscious state and hurt you. I... I lost control of my feelings and... and..." he doesn't know how to proceed. Lan Zhan has never been good with words.  
He looks expectantly at Wei Ying to understand him.   
Lan Zhan notices that there is a small smile playing on Wei Ying's lips... A barely there smile.

"Lan Zhan, so you mean that you regret your actions because I was unconscious and you feel you took advantage of me?" Wei Ying said looking expectantly at his friend.

"Mn."

"So... If I say that I will forgive you if you are willing to pay the price for what you did, what would you be willing to do? " Wei Ying asks, his tone dead serious... his eyes intensely looking into Lan Zhan's.

With out even a single seconds hesitation Lan Zhan blurts, "Anything."  
_'If it means he will forgive me... if it means I get to have him in my life ...I am willing to do anything and everything he wants.'_ his mind adds.

"Are you sure Lan Zhan?"

"Mn."

"I will give you one last chance to back out Lan Zhan....think about it carefully before you answer. Are you truly willing to do...." Wei Ying leans towards his soulmate and finishes, "....Anything."

And Wei Ying couldn't be happier when the other man, without breaking their eye contact confidently says, "Anything... means Anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Note :- 'Mo*' is the illegitimate son of Jin Clan. He gave up his body and soul to bring Wei Wuxian back from the dead. In this story whether the new body Wei Ying has acquired has the Golden Core or not is still unclear.}


	13. A Trip

Wei Ying smiles his bunny smile.  
He gets off the bed and holds his hand out to his friend.  
Lan Zhan looks at him totally confused.   
This is not the reaction he was expecting from Wei Ying.  
'_I thought he would kiss me.... Lan Zhan.....how stupid of you to presume that he loves you...maybe he forgave you so easily because he doesn't want you to feel guilty... Maybe he feels obligated to you.... maybe... maybe,'_ Lan Zhan's confused brain comes up with various reasons for sudden change in Wei Ying's actions.

"Lan Zhan....come" Wei Ying says gesturing his friend to hold his hand.

Lan Zhan thinks it's best to do what the other man says so he stands up and holds his hand.

Wei Ying puts his hands inside the front of his robes to check something. Ascertaining that the object is secure he looks around for his flute and Bichen.  
He picks up his flute and hands Lan Zhan his Bichen.

_'What is he doing???' _Lan Zhan wonders getting more and more confused by the second.

Wei Ying smiles and hand in hand they walk out of their room.   
Wei Ying quickly scribbles a thank you note, puts it on the table and quietly leads Lan Zhan out of the house.

"Wei Ying, where are we going?," Lan Zhan enquires.   
"It's a secret." Wei Ying says smirking mischievously.

It is past midnight and there is no one in sight as the two men start walking towards the market.

"Wei Ying do you need something?" Lan Zhan asks, noticing the route they are taking.

"Hmm?" Wei Ying murmurs.  
"It's late, no shops will be open at this time." Lan Zhan clarifies.

"We are not going to the market you Fuddy Duddy. We will just be crossing it." Wei Ying says looking at their joined hands.   
Lan Zhan in his confused state of mind had failed to notice that Wei Ying had not let go of his hand. So they were walking hand on hand.   
Lan Zhan tries to take his hand out of his friend's grasp.

"Lan Zhan don't you dare do that. You said you would do anything...remember? " Wei Ying says in a mock scolding tone.

Hearing this Lan Zhan's lips curl slightly upwards.  
"Lan Zhan... I am taking you to get punished and you dare to smile?" Wei Ying says in mock anger again looking at his friend's face.   
Lan Zhan's smile disappears immediately.  
"Hahaha... Lan Zhan.... you actually fell for my fake anger... " Wei Ying starts laughing.

Now Lan Zhan smiles a big smile.  
_'I love this idiot so much.'_ he thinks happily, '_but if my friendship and my company is all he wants and it can bring him joy... if I can see his beautiful smile everyday, that would be enough for me...his happiness is all that is important..'_ he tells himself.

They cross the empty market and come to a lake. Wei Ying let's go of Lan Zhan's hand and runs to the docks where the boats are tied. He frees a small one and steps into it.

"Hanguang Jun, what are you doing standing there? Come. Get in the boat. Quick." Wei Ying whispers.

Lan Zhan does what he is told.  
Wei Ying hands him one of the pedals and gestures him to sit down.

"Wei Ying... are we stealing a boat now?" Lan Zhan asks.  
"It's called borrowing Lan Zhan. I fully intend to return it once I am done using it. Now come. Start rowing. " Wei Ying says dismissing his friend's statement.

_'I will find the boat owner and pay him once we are back.'_ Lan Zhan tells himself.

  
He takes the other pedal from Wei Ying's hands.  
"You are hurt. Rowing is not recommended." he says matter-of-factly and starts rowing the boat.

Wei Ying doesn't say anything and happily sits back and starts looking at the lotus blooming on the lake.

The lake looks beautiful. It's a full moon night.   
Lan Zhan looks at Wei Ying's calm face.  
_'Wei Ying... you are so beautiful in the moonlight.'_ he thinks.  
_'I would really envy the woman who gets to hold him... Love him.... He will probably get bored with me once that happens and then ask me to leave.' _his heart sinks when he thinks about how he will one day probably be left all alone if Wei Ying decides that he has had enough of him.

"Lan Zhan, take a turn there." Wei Ying points to where they are headed.

"Lotus Cove." Lan Zhan's eyes widened.

"Yes. We are visiting my home. I haven't been back here since I returned. And I really wanted to come here. " Wei Ying says calmly.

"Reckless." Lan Zhan says and smiles a small smile.  
_'Of course he wants to come home but he is hurt so obviously he needs to protect himself. He wants me to reply in this way. He wants me to protect him.'_ Lan Zhan thinks. He can protect Wei Ying. He is a good fighter. He is at least useful that way.

"Lan Zhan, let's dock the boat here." Wei Ying instructs pointing at what looks like a small clearing with log sticking out from the ground.

Lan Zhan guides the boat and docks it. The two men jump out of the boat. Wei Ying ties the boat to the log.

Wei Ying holds Lan Zhan's hand again and starts walking towards a thick patch of bushes.   
By now Lan Zhan has gotten so used to doing things without getting any explanations for them so he just cherishes the feeling of his friend's hands in his and just follows him willingly.

On arriving near the bushes Wei Ying does an incantation and red sparks fly from his finger tips. And the bushes disappear to reveal what looks like a mud cave.   
Wei Ying looks at the cave entrance with excitement.  
"Lan Zhan, this is my secret. No one knows about it except for me...not even Jiang Cheng." He says as he walks inside it, pulling Lan Zhan behind him.

"I was an orphan. Uncle took me in. And loved me like his own. But sometimes I felt like running away. So I slowly made this cave so I could go out anytime I wanted to. So when I used to get grounded by Madam Yu I snuck out and goofed around to my hearts content....I never thought that one day this old passage would be the only way for me to enter my home." Wei Ying finishes with a pained look in his eyes.   
Lan Zhan's heart breaks to look at his friend looking so dejected but there is nothing he can do about it.

After a minute or two of walking in silence, Wei Ying stops and casually takes Bichen from Lan Zhan's hand.  
He lifts it up and pokes the ceiling of the cave. It takes a bit effort but after a few seconds the ceiling lifts up. Wei Ying carefully slides the ceiling over with practiced hands...like he is used to it.   
He returns Bichen to Lan Zhan and prepares to pull himself up but Lan Zhan stops him.   
Wei Ying looks at his friend questioningly.

"Let me go up first. I will pull you up." Lan Zhan says logically.  
Wei Ying nods.   
In one swift motion Lan Zhan pulls himself up. He looks around. The room looks unused. It has everything that a bedroom is supposed to have What is surprising though is the fact that the room is spotless. It looks like it's been taken care of.  
After ascertaining that it's safe Lan Zhan carefully puts his hands to where Wei Ying is and gently pulls him up . Once up, he awkwardly let's go of his friend and starts looking around once more.

"Jian Cheng sure took good care of my room." Wei Ying says sarcastically.  
_'My room is luckier than me'_ he thinks to himself.  
He then gets up and goes to his cupboard. He opens it to find a few pairs of clothes. His eyes fall on one particular dress. He takes it out and turns to Lan Zhan.  
"Look Lan Zhan, my uniform from my days studying with you." Wei Ying says hugging the cloths.   
He breaths the scent of the cloths.   
"They smell like sandalwood. They smell like you Lan Zhan." Wei Ying says more to himself than to Lan Zhan.   
Lan Zhan feels a flush rise to his cheek at the sight of his friend talking about him in such an intimate way. He can't help but walk over to his friend.  
He lifts his hand to touch Wei Ying's cheek but stops himself.   
He is about to pull his hand back when Wei Ying holds his wrist and brings Lan Zhan's palm to his cheek. Wei Ying then puts his friend's fingers to his lips and gently kisses each of Lan Zhan's finger tips one by one all the while looking lovingly at his friend.

Lan Zhan feels his heart become full....Wei Ying has filled his heart with only his loving gaze.  
He thinks _'If only I get to be loved by you Wei Ying , I wouldn't ask for anything else in this lifetime __and__ I would have no regrets.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave Kudos and comments if you have enjoyed the chapter.


	14. An Old Acquaintance

  
Wei Ying's heart is racing as he kisses Hanguang Jun's finger tips. The soft sweet expression his friend's face bore was too much to handle.  
He let's Lan Zhan's hand go and steps closer to him. He wants to touch Lan Zhan's beautiful soft lips, he wants to preserve the expression in his heart forever.  
He lifts his hand to touch Lan Zhan's lips but stops. Both men look to the door of the room.   
They can here footsteps and muffed voice just outside the room.

"Has the Clan leader still not returned Min Fae?"   
Wei Ying knows this voice.   
_'It's aunty Yenay.' _

"No, he sent a word earlier this morning. He will be staying in Jin Lanling for the next couple of days."

"Oh. Is that so? " Wei Ying hears Yenay's reply.

"Aunty, clan leader asked me to tell you to get Master Wei's room ready." Min Fae says.

"Are we expecting guests? But no one is allowed in master Wei's room except the Clan leader." says Yenay.

"That is what surprises me too. He also asked extra pair of clothes to be stocked in the room as well. Aunty, you are the only one allowed in the room and you have watched the Masters grow up, why do you think after so many years Clan leader wants to make the room ready?" Min Fae continues.

"Hard to say, but something must have happened in Lanling ...Anyway , by when does he want things to be ready?" Yenay asks.

"As soon as possible. Sorry aunty I know it's late. Actually Chu returned in the afternoon itself but he forgot to tell me about this matter. When we were finishing up for the day he suddenly ran up to me looking for you. I told him that I would let you know. He was reluctant to tell me. He kept on saying that he couldn't tell this to anyone else. But then since he couldn't enter ladies area he caved and told me. " Min Fae says.

"That forgetful boy. God knows when he will learn to be responsible...." she sighed and continued, "No problem. Master Wei's room is in good condition. Even the extra set of clothes are already there. I will just give the room a once over. You go sleep." Yenay says opening the door.

Both Hanguang Jun and Wei Ying duck and hide behind the changing board.

Yenay walks in and lights a few candles.   
_'Aunty Yenay took care of me when I was a young child. She maybe one of the only people in Yunmeng that does not hate me. '_ Wei thinks and comes out of hiding, he walks quitely behind Yenay and calls her name.  
"Auntie Yenay ?"

The old lady gets startled and stumbles at the sudden voice but before she falls Wei Ying holds her.   
She turns in his arms and stares at him. Wei Ying gives her a disarmingly beautiful smile.   
"Master Wei Ying" she whispers as she slowly touches his face.   
"I can't believe it. It's really you." she says smiling at Wei Ying.  
"Yes Aunty, it's me. Sorry if I scared you just now." he says sincerely.

"How did you manage to sneak in? There are guards at the main door..." she says.

"You know it's a secret Aunty Yenay. And I never tell anyone my secrets.  
...hehe." Wei Ying says smiling mischievously.

He holds Yenay hands in his and says, "Aunty I need you to meet someone...Hanguang Jun come."

Lan Zhan walks out of the shadows finally and bows to Yenay.

"Master Wei..." she starts but stops as if understanding something. She smiles and bows.   
"Second Master Lan, welcome to Lotus Cove. I see now why Clan Leader made the request that he did" she says.

"Aunty you think Jiang Cheng still cares for me?" Wei Ying says sarcastically.

"He doesn't show it but he does. Otherwise how do you explain the way he treats your room. Look at it master Wei, it is exactly as you left it" she pauses and continues, "Clan leader comes here sometimes and when he leaves, he always has tears in his eyes."

Wei Ying is shocked after hearing this and no one speaks for a few seconds.

Gently Yenay squeezes Wei Ying's hands and says "It's a stroke of luck that it was me of all people to find you. Others don't know you like I do....So what brings you here?" she finally asks.

Wei Ying looks at Lan Zhan and says, "Aunty we have had a long day and both of us are hurt. Since I returned to the mortal realm I had wanted to visit Uncle, Madam Yu and Shiji. So I chose to come here....Can you help us visit them?"

It is then that Yenay notices that Lan Zhan's clothes are blood stained...and both their clothes are torn and have slash marks.

"Master Wei, this is your room" she points to the cupboard and says " You should change. Let me know if you need anything else. I will check outside to make sure that you can visit the shrine without getting disturbed....would you be spending the night? " she asks Wei Ying.

Wei Ying nods.

"OK then. Clan leader is not back yet and I am the only one allowed here so you can safely stay here till he returns. Ah yes... Most of the help in lotus cove have never met or seen you before. So, as long as you wear the sect cloths and don't cause trouble no one will know who you are." Yenay says.

"Aunty I hope you wouldn't get in trouble on our account. And how can you be sure no one will recognize me...Afterall I grew up there. " Wei Ying says getting worried.

Looking at Wei Ying's worried expression Yenay says, "Over the years no help was able to put up with Clan Leader's attitude. They kept leaving. I always felt that A Cheng is softer with me. Maybe because I took care you when you were kids. So I am the only one from the old staff that remains in Lotus Cove....Young Master, don't worry about me."

Then she turns to leave, but before she leaves she adds "Master Wei , I would suggest you to put a silence charm on you room. If your voices are heard outside I won't be able to help you. " , the she smiles knowingly at Lan Zhan and leaves.  
Lan Zhan blushes and lowers his gaze.

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are alone once more.   
Wei Ying immediately puts the silence charm on the room as suggested by Yenay.

"Wei Ying, can we trust her?" Lan Zhan asks suspiciously.

"Hm. She practically raised me. Since Madam Yu didn't want anything to do with me uncle left me in her care. She will never betray us. " Wei Ying says holding Lan Zhan's hand once again.

He leads his friend to the cupboard and hands him a set of red colored night cloths and takes one for himself. Closing the cupboard Wei Ying starts disrobing.

Lan Zhan doesn't move. His eyes are trained on Wei Ying.  
Wei Ying undoes the belt that hold the robes and throws the belt on the bed and looks at Lan Zhan. He sees Lan Zhan looking intensely at him.

"Hanguang Jun....what are you looking at?" Wei Ying says holding his robes tighter around himself.

Lan Zhan breaks out of his daze,he lowers his gaze and the tip of his ears turn red.

"Shameless..." Wei Ying says and walks over to Lan Zhan.

He puts his finger under Lan Zhan's chin, lifts his face up and bumps their noses together gently and continues, "**Absolutely Shameless**....Hanguang Jun... I am beginning to think that I am a bad influence on you." Then he once again steps away and smiles.


	15. Not like this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Note : - Stuff happens. Stuff I am not very happy about. But it was necessary. So please prepare your heart. Also remember that's this story most definitely has a happy ending. 
> 
> Trigger warning, Mild non con. towards the end of the chapter.  
I will mark the start & end with N/C}

  
Yenay walks out of Wei Ying's room and immediately goes to her room. Takes out a sheet of paper, writes something and goes to the main gate of Lotus Cove.   
She looks at the boys standing guard at the gate and calls over a lanky looking young boy.   
She hands the sheet which is now sealed with the Jiang emblem to the boy and says,"Chu, listen carefully. You need to give this only to Clan Leader Cheng OK. Do not, under any circumstance show it to anyone else. Leave now. "   
"Should I get a response back to you?" Chu asks.   
"Clan leader will tell you what to do. And if he sends a letter for me, dare not deliver it elsewhere." Yenay says and walks back inside.

*Wei Ying's room*

"Lan Zhan.... Hanguang Jun... Lan Er gege... say something...Aioo are you back to ignoring me again?...ok. OK. You are not Shameless. You are the best... Most handsome... The best cultivator.... Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying begs his best friend.   
After being called "Absolutely Shameless" his friend has seemingly zoned out.

Lan Zhan sometimes curses the day he first saw Wei Ying. After the nose bump Lan Zhan's body has stilled but his mind can't seem to shut up....Lan Zhan's mind is screaming, _'Stop playing with my feelings Wei Ying. Stop being so sweet. Stop coming close to me. And if you do come close...then don't walk away from me... Please Wei Ying. Stop saying my name like that...stop looking at me like that.' _  
Lan Zhan keeps looking at the floor.

After a while when Wei Ying stops blabbing, Lan Zhan's mind goes quiet too.   
He looks up at Wei Ying and starts disrobing himself.  
It is now Wei Ying's turn to stare at the man in front of him.   
Lan Zhan with a few precise moment takes off his belt and keeps it on the bed. His hands go to his robes but before he can remove them Wei Ying shouts , "Lan Zhan!" he covers his eyes with his hands and turns his back to his friend, then he adds, "What ARE you doing Hanguang Jun."

"Changing." Lan Zhan says still looking at Wei Ying.

"Well there is a perfectly good changing partition right behind you. You can use that you know." Wei Ying says blushing furiously...his face still turned away from Lan Zhan's.

"It seemed fair." Lan Zhan says expressionlessly.

"What?" Wei Ying is confused.

"I saw you. It's only fair that you see me too." Lan Zhan's voice is as steady as ever but his brain is like a pile of confused nerve endings.

"No need...no need. We are good. You get changed here. I will use the partition." Wei Ying says walking towards the changing area.

'_FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck_' Wei Ying mutters and puts a hand on his heart that is threatening to jump out of his chest .._'Calm the Fuck down Wei Ying. You don't know what he feels for you yet...Yes he did say he lost control of his feelings when he _**_sexily_**_ bit you but he never said that he loves you. Maybe he lost control because he was thinking of someone else.... You were gone for sixteen years and Hanguang Jun is a handsome man... any woman would be __lucky__ to have him... Maybe he fell in love... Maybe they had to separate...maybe he still has feelings for her... Maybe... '_

Wei Ying's internal panic talk is interrupted when he hears Lan Zhan's voice ,"Wei Ying, are you ok? What is taking so long?"  
Wei Ying is snapped back to reality, "Almost done." he says and he quickly starts to change.

When he is done he walks back to where Lan Zhan is sitting on the study table and waiting for him.   
Wei Ying can't but appreciate the way his friend looks so elegant even in night cloths. He gives Lan Zhan a once over as he thinks, 'How is it that even these simple night cloths look like formal wear on Hanguang Jun?..He truly is worthy of being called a Jade.'

"What do you want to do next?" Lan Zhan asks looking around the room.   
His eyes fall on the frame of the bed on which there is a picture of two boys kissing. He walks to the bed to take a closer look.   
Wei Ying sees him going towards the bed. He follows Lan Zhan's eyes that are looking intently at the picture.   
He smiles remembering the old days and comes and stands next to Lan Zhan.  
Wei Ying sighs.

Lan Zhan looks at him  
He sits on the bed. His eyes on the picture, he thinks, _'I need to know what Wei Ying feels for me. There is no other way. I need to ask him. And I will accept it, whether I like it or not and continue to stay by his side'_

"Wei Ying, Come." Hanguang Jun gestures to the spot on the bed next to where he is sitting and says "Sit."

Wei Ying gives a small smile and sits down next to his friend.

Lan Zhan looks at Wei Ying, the flickering candle light throws shadows on Wei Ying's face and it looks like they are playing on Wei Ying's face. Wei Ying looks breathingly beautiful.

Lan Zhan turns to face him..."Wei Ying... " he starts to say.   
He wants to ask Wei Ying about his feelings towards him, his gaze shifts a bit.

"Lan Zhan, what is it?" Wei Ying asks, sensing hesitation in his friend's eyes.

Something changes in Lan Zhan's eyes, his hand comes up to softly touch Wei Ying's brow.  
This sudden unexpected action makes Wei Ying gasp softly. His heartbeats speed up again.   
Lan Zhan's fingers, in the mean while have moved down to Wei Ying's cheekbone ...lightly touching and creasing it with his thumb.  
Wei Ying notices that Lan Zhan's eyes hold a dazed look and he is at once scared and turned on. But at the back of his mind he suspects if something is wrong with his friend.

"Lan Zhan, are you... " Wei Ying starts but is not able to finish. Lan Zhan without any warning slowly but surely starts leaning into his friend.

Wei Ying leans away but Lan Zhan keeps going. Eventually Wei Ying loses balance and his back hits the bed.

Lan Zhan follows Wei Ying and he too loses balance but quickly stops himself from falling on his friend.   
Now Lan Zhan is looming very close on top of Wei Ying. One hand is supporting his weight. He continues what he was doing before they fell as if nothing had happened. Lan Zhan's hand moves to Wei Ying's lips. He traces them ...first the upper bow shaped one then the full lower one.

{N/C}  
"Lan Zhan... " Wei Ying says breathlessly, " What are you doing?".  
Lan Zhan doesn't answer. His hand moves to Wei Ying's neck and going lower he pulls on fabric.   
"Ouch! Lan Zhan... that hurt... Stop. Lan Zhan.What are you doing?" Wei Ying says getting a little worried.  
Lan Zhan doesn't react to Wei Ying's words. It's like he can't hear them.

He looks at Lan Zhan's face and can't recognize the emotion on it.  
Lan Zhan is smiling... but there is no sweetness in it... pure evil is radiating from Lan Zhan's face.

Wei Ying tries to shake his friend's shoulder to get his attention but it doesn't work.  
Wei Ying doesn't want to hurt Lan Zhan so he tries to pull away from him but fails.

Seeing what Wei Ying is trying to do Lan Zhan changes his position.

He takes both of Wei Ying's hands in one of his and pins them on top of Wei Ying's head with his hand. Then he puts his legs on either side of Wei Ying's hips and straddles his hips successfully trapping Wei Ying between his legs.

Wei Ying doubles his efforts to get away from Lan Zhan, all the while yelling for Lan Zhan to stop.   
Wei Ying pushes his body up trying to push Lan Zhan off of him and that is when he feels something hard between his legs. He looks down his body and is shocked to see that Lan Zhan is hard. And it's positioned between his legs.

Lan Zhan let's out a low moan as soon as Wei Ying's body rubs against his.

Lan Zhan pushes his hips down and starts moving.   
The fact of what is about to happen becomes clear to Wei Ying and he tries to close his legs. Lan Zhan doesn't notice and keeps moving trying to get as much friction as possible.  
Low moans keep escaping Lan Zhan's mouth.  
Lan Zhan tries to pull away Wei Ying's robes again but is met with resistance so his hands move to the belts that are holding the robes in place.  
Wei Ying screams as Lan Zhan pulls off the belt and throws it on the floor.   
He exposes Wei Ying's torso.   
Lan Zhan's hand move to Wei Ying's throat and he squeezes it.  
Wei Ying struggles to breath.   
He thinks that Lan Zhan has changed his mind is going to kill him instead.

Wei Ying is proved wrong as Lan Zhan let's go of his throat and moves his hands to his shoulder and then his forearm. Exposing more skin is he goes.   
Lan Zhan's hand comes to rest on Wei Ying's hip and his grip tightens.   
He starts moving faster. His moans grow louder.   
Lan Zhan stops and Wei Ying thinks it's over. Maybe Lan Zhan has come back to his senses.   
Wei Ying is proved wrong yet again as Lan Zhan's hand move to undo Wei Ying's belt that are holding his pants.

Wei Ying can't take it anymore. He struggles violently. He puts all his effort into it. Lan Zhan is almost thrown off...but he manages to hold on. Lan Zhan in an effort to stop Wei Ying's movement puts his hand on his friend's chest and pushes him firmly into the bed.

Embarrassment and dread fills Wei Ying's heart and soul, he continues to struggle to get out of Lan Zhan's hold. But he keeps failing.   
_'Lan Zhan... DON'T....not like this... Lan Zhan.' _Wei Ying's heart screams. Tears start falling from his eyes. He doesn't want to cry... He can't cry... He needs to save at least his last shred of dignity.  
Wei Ying finally gives up. He has no strength left to resist Lan Zhan.

He tries to mentally prepare himself for the pain and humiliation that he knows are bound to follow.  
He closes his eyes to stop the tears from flowing out....but they continue to fall from his eyes nonetheless.

In his panicked state of mind Wei Ying fails to notice that Lan Zhan's hand had stilled as soon as he had put his hands on Wei Ying's chest.

{N/C}

The pain and humiliation Wei Ying expects, never comes, instead he feels Lan Zhan's weight lifted off of him suddenly.   
Wei Ying slowly opens his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry... For the pain.   
This chapter was hard to put into words.  
Remember, after pain comes pleasure.


	16. Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Note :- This chapter is basically going to explain what happened in the later half of the previous chapter from Lan Zhan's POV. And the repercussions of his actions. 
> 
> The next chapter will resume where 'Not like this' left off. 
> 
> This chapter starts when Lan Zhan asks Wei Ying to sit next to him.   
To avoid confusion I will start from there.}

  
"Wei Ying, come." Hanguang Jun gestures to the spot on the bed next to where he is sitting and says "Sit."

Wei Ying gives a small smile and sits next to his friend.

Hanguang Jun turns to face him and says, "Wei Ying... " but before he can continue, from the corner of his eyes he can see something moving behind the bed's headboard he shifts his eyes to look...but before he can make sure exactly what it is that caught his eye Wei Ying calls his name, "Lan Zhan, what is it?"   
Lan Zhan eyes turn to look at Wei Ying's face.

_Lan Zhan's vision goes dark. _   
_He can only hear voices.... Voices of women screaming , children crying and men laughing. _   
_He starts running towards the sounds blindly. He is panting now. He summons Bichen but the 'Dust Avoider' doesn't come to him. _   
_He stops running. The screams stop abruptly._   
_He feels someone pull on his robes._   
_It's a small boy..The small boy calls his name 'Hanguang Jun..save me Hanguang Jun'._   
_Lan Zhan knows this voice, It's A Yuan. _   
_He bends down and tries to feel the child's face in the dark. _   
_He touches the boy's brow and his cheek. _   
_"A Yuan... It that you?" Lan Zhan asks the boy. _   
_But before he can get a reply the screams pearce his ears again. He tries to cover his ears to block the sounds but he can still hear them loud and clear. _   
_He realizes that he can't feel A Yuan's presence any more._   
_"A Yuan....where are you." Lan Zhan screams._   
_He can't recognize A Yuan's voice amongst the screaming voices. _   
_He starts running again. _   
_The screams stop again. _   
_"Lan Zhan... save me Lan Zhan. He is hurting me."_   
_Lan Zhan knows this voice. It's Wei Ying._   
_"Wei Ying ...where are you?" Lan Zhan shouts in the dark. _   
_Suddenly he feels a presence right in front on him. _   
_He lifts his hand to touch what ever it is that is in front of him. _   
_His hand lands on a face. _   
_"Lan Zhan...you found me." the voice whispers softly._   
_"Wei Ying is that you?" Lan Zhan says as his hands travel to Wei Ying's lips. He traces them, first the upper bow shaped one and then the lower one... It's soft and full._   
_Lan Zhan smiles._   
_The screaming starts again. He doesn't want to lose Wei Ying so he holds his hands. _   
_But someone is trying to pull him away. _   
_He puts his hands on Wei Ying's waist and pulls him close. _   
_"I won't loses you again Wei Ying." Lan Zhan shouts over the voices and tightens his hold on his friend._   
_He holds Wei Ying tightly in his embrace._

_The voices stop again. And Wei Ying disappears from Lan Zhan's embrace. _

_Lan Zhan's heart fills with remorse and he falls to the floor crying, "Wei Ying... Come back....Wei Ying... Don't leave me here alone. Wei Ying..."_

_Lan Zhan's attention goes to a bright ray of light being emitted at some distance. He runs towards it. The light becomes clearer and clearer. _   
_The light is blue and it's brightness stings Lan Zhan's eyes but he can't look away. _   
_He stops running when he reaches close to it. _   
_He touches it. The light emits a strong push force.. ..and suddenly he is falling. _   
_He bracers himself for the impact from the fall. _

Lan Zhan opens his eyes.   
The scene before him sends shock waves through his very soul.   
He is straddling Wei Ying's hips and his left hand is pinning Wei Ying's hands over his head; Wei Ying's eyes are tightly shut and tears are making their way down them, his neck has imprints of fingers. _'My fingers...',_ Lan Zhan's mind supplies.   
Lan Zhan's eyes travel lower to see Wei Ying's robes are open ; that his right hand is sprawled across Wei Ying's chest. Even the belt on Wei Ying's trousers are almost undone...

But what really breaks him is the fact he is pressing his hardness between Wei Ying's legs.

With a jerk he immediately gets off from Wei Ying's body and stands shaking in front of the bed. He opens the palm of his right hand, the same hand that had been touching his friend inappropriately just seconds ago... and within it lies his headband.  
_'The most sacred possession of his Clan.'_  
He doesn't know what he did, but he knows he did something unforgivable yet again. Only this time it looked and felt worse. Wei Ying was genuinely scared...no... He was terrified and he was crying.   
_'What have I done?'_ Lan Zhan asks himself.  
He approaches the bed again and loosely covers his friend's exposed body making sure not to touch him. He ties the almost undone strings holding Wei Ying's trousers.   
Lan Zhan notices as Wei Ying flinches as if terrified of even this simple gesture.   
Lan Zhan steps away from the bed once more.   
_'How could I have done this? What happened? Why don't I remember doing it.'_ he thinks as he sits on the floor devastated.

He doesn't cry. Tears can't absolve him of his sins.

He very mechanically ties the 'Lan' Headband back on his forehead.

Without looking up he whispers, "I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me Wei Ying."

Lan Zhan silently reaches for Bichen. He picks it up.   
And looks at it.   
_'You have served me well till now old friend, and for that I am grateful.'_ he thinks as he unsheathes it and continues, _'Now I need you to serve me one last time.' _  
He puts Bichen to his throat .  
He closes his eyes and whispers, "Sorry... Wei Ying."


	17. You Promised

Wei Ying opens his eyes. He can see the ceiling of his room. His vision is blurry. He tries to move his hands and they move. He sits up. He sees that his chest has been loosely covered and is not completely exposed anymore.  
He doesn't understand if what he just went through was a dream or was Lan Zhan.. _his closest friend...his soulmate_ actually trying to rape and kill him a few minutes ago. _'Was it really Lan Zhan... he looked like Lan Zhan but he didn't feel like Lan Zhan at all.'_

He looks around the room and spots Lan Zhan.  
Lan Zhan is holding his headband and is looking at it. Lan Zhan's body is shaking slightly. His hand, as he ties the headband around his forehead is trembling.  
Wei Ying looks on as Lan Zhan picks up Bichen and looks at it.   
Wei Ying hears Lan Zhan speaking. But it's not clear. But he can feel sadness in those barely audible words. The only words he can hear clearly are "Forgive me Wei Ying."

Wei Ying's mind starts to clear up. Fear grips his heart as he sees Lan Zhan unsheathe Bichen and puts it on his throat.  
Wei Ying hears Lan Zhan mutter "Sorry...Wei Ying."

_'Nooooooo Lan Zhan.'_ Wei Ying's mind screams out loud and without a seconds delay Wei Ying throws himself towards his friend and with both hands stops Bichen from moving.  
"Lan Zhan! What are you doing? " Wei Ying yells.

"Let go Wei Ying. Don't touch me." Lan Zhan says. His voice is devoid of any emotion.

"Lan Zhan. Put it down." Wei Ying yells again trying to pull Bichen towards him.

"Wei Ying. I said let go." Lan Zhan says still not looking at his friend and with other hand pushes him away.  
Wei Ying realizes that Lan Zhan has used his spiritual force to push him away and he gets angry....very angry.

He stands up and roars ,"How dare you Hanguang Jun!"  
The room visibly shakes as black smoke starts to surround Wei Ying. His eyes turn red.   
The feel of the room changes and Lan Zhan snaps out of his daze.   
He looks at Wei Ying.

"How dare you push me away? How dare you ignore my words? Hanguang Jun **You Promised**. You promised to stay. You promised me... 'Anything' .  
Is this how you keep your promises? Do your words mean nothing! "   
Wei Ying's words are clear and sharp.

Lan Zhan's face which had till that time been expressionless, changes.   
He looks at Wei Ying. He really looks.

The words 'Anything... Anything means Anything' rush back to him.   
He notices for the first time how he is holding Bichen to his throat.  
He let's go of it like it has burnt him.   
Bichen falls to the floor.

"Wei Ying. Stop. You are in no condition to do this." he yells looking at his friend who is surrounded by waves of black smoke. He remembers now what had happened.  
"Wei Ying, sorry. Stop it. Focus. Please focus." Hanguang Jun begs.

"Hanguang Jun .... you think you can break your promise so casually?" Wei Ying's eyes turn cold as he adds, " A promise made to Yiling patriarch..Ha!". He steps further away from Lan Zhan and his body lifts up into the air.

"Wei Ying. I was wrong. I am not going to break my promise. Come back Wei Ying. I remember now. I promised. Anything. I am willing to do anything. Wei Ying.... come back to me." Lan Zhan begs. His eyes tear up. His hand reaches towards his friend.

Wei Ying searches Lan Zhan's eyes to see if he is lying. But he only sees truth reflected in Hanguang Jun's clear eyes.   
The black smoke starts to disappear and Wei Ying's body descends down slowly.

"Lan Zhan,... " Wei Ying says softly.  
He sees that Lan Zhan's arms are outstretched.   
"Wei Ying..." Lan Zhan says motioning his friend to come to him.   
Wei Ying stands rooted in the same place.  
He is scared that if he moves, Lan Zhan may try to subdue him and proceed to harm himself.

Seeing hesitation in Wei Ying's eyes Lan Zhan understands what might be going through his friend's mind.   
He walks towards Wei Ying and hugs him.   
"I am not going anywhere. I don't know what came over me. I am sorry. Wei Ying....Please trust me." Lan Zhan says keeping Wei Ying in his embrace.

Wei Ying returns the hug and says,   
"Lan Zhan, don't you ever do that again."

"Mn."

They stand holding each other for a few minutes. None of them wants to let go of the other.

That is when Wei Ying sees something move behind the bed. He breaks away from the embrace and grabs his flute.  
As if on cue, Lan Zhan picks up Bichen and stands next to his friend to defend him if need be.   
But before Wei Ying can start playing his flute, the window behind the bed opens and the shadow escapes.

Wei Ying looks at the open window and curses his unlucky stars and mutters under his breath, _'I just need a Fucking break damnit!... Is that too much to ask for.'_

Then he faces Lan Zhan and says, " It's a dream demon."  
When Lan Zhan doesn't say anything Wei Ying continues, "It's a type of spirit that can create realistic dreams. I will tell you more later. " he pauses and looks at Lan Zhan curiously.   
"Lan Zhan, earlier when you asked me to sit next to you.." Wei Ying hesitates and continues, "what did you want to do?"

"Mn?"

"I mean...you did not want to do what you did right. You did not want to..." Wei Ying points to himself .

Lan Zhan understands what his friend is trying to ask, "No.. I would never." he says...tips of his ears turn pink and Wei Ying notices , _'Yep.... That's my Lan Zhan.'_ he thinks fondly.

"Lan Zhan, can you tell me what you remember doing?" Wei Ying asks and Lan Zhan tells him everything.

Lan Zhan tells him how the last thing he remembers is asking Wei Ying to sit next to him, he tells Wei Ying about his hallucinations, about what he saw when his eyes opened, about how he was clutching the headband when his eyes opened, how the only thought he had, was to kill himself.

Wei Ying takes a deep breath and says, "Lan Zhan, remember the story the midwife told us about what happened in Lotus Cove a few days ago? I am beginning to think that the story the midwife's friend told her was not just her way of seeking attention... Lan Zhan I think Lotus Cove is housing a dream demon."   
Wei Ying pauses as if contemplating something and continues, "I think we may have to extend our stay at Lotus Cove ." he finishes. A dangerously mischievous smile plays on his lips.

"Lan Zhan, I hope you are up for another adventure." he says bumping Lan Zhan's shoulder with his.

Lan Zhan nods and stares at his friend's beautiful lips, _'When will I get used to his gorgeous smile' ,_he thinks fondly.

There is a knock on the door and Wei Ying realises that his night robes have come loose. He picks up the discarded belt and hastily ties it around himself while Lan Zhan let's Yenay in.

"Master Wei, there are guards at the shrine today. They are not under my command. So I couldn't get rid of them. I am sorry. " Yenay says.

"Aunty, you said that it's possible for us to extend our stay here right?" Wei Ying asks.

"Yes. It's safe till A Cheng returns. So you can stay here for the time being." she informs them.

"Aunty, is there anyway we can be allowed to roam instead lotus cove freely during our stay?" Wei Ying asks, fully prepared to get a negative reply.

"There is a way... but.. I don't know if Hanguang Jun will be able to accept it." She says doubtfully.

"He will accept." Wei Ying says confidently.  
And Hanguang Jun thinks how far he has come from the first time they had met in cloud reassess. _'Wei Ying practically owns me... When did that happen?'_ he asks himself.

Yenay says, "Tomorrow morning I will inform the household that the guests the the Clan leader had asked to prepare the room for had arrived late last night. I will then introduce you to them as cultivators from Nie sect. I will tell them you are here for some office business."

Wei Ying claps happily and says, "That's perfect aunty. Oh you can introduce as Nie Yuan and Nie Jingyi. So what is the problem you mentioned?"

"There is a small matter of accommodation....we are running short... I know Hanguang Jun's reputation of being alone. But I am sorry we can't spare any more rooms." she says fringing embarrassment.

"Aunty is that all? Well then that's not a problem at all." Wei Ying says happily and walks towards his friend ,he loops his hand around his friend's waist and pulls him towards himself and blurts out "Hanguang Jun will sleep with me."

Yenay doesn't get frazzled at all. She just smiles knowingly at Wei Ying and the looks at Lan Zhan and says, "I will leave you in Master Wei's care then....Hanguang Jun." she bows and walks out of the room.

As soon as Yenay leaves Lan Zhan removes himself from his friend's hold and steps away.

"Wei Ying." Lan Zhan says angrily.Wei Ying laughs. 

"Sorry Lan Er gege... I was just missing your angry face... I haven't seen it directed at me for so long." Wei Ying continues to laugh.

  
Hanguang Jun has had enough by then. He walks towards Wei Ying and cups his face with his palms. Wei Ying stops laughing immediately.  
"Hanguang Jun.... What are.. " he says but Lan Zhan doesn't let him finish.  
Lan Zhan brings their faces closer and deeply looking into Wei Ying's eyes his says in a deep voice, "Don't flirt with someone if you don't mean it... or else they may get wrong ideas. ..then you will be the one paying the price." he finishes and gives Wei Ying a heart stopping smirk.


	18. Sleep With Me

_'Lan Zhan what are you doing? Yes ,_ _Wei Ying is cute and adorable and naughty and sweet... but you have always known what a big flirt he is... He would flirt with a God damn rock if he feels like it... So him talking to you this casually is just his way of teasing you... It doesn't mean he likes you the way you like him... '_ Lan Zhan's logically side of brain reminds him.

Lan Zhan steps away from his friend and says, "Wei Ying, it's late. Go to bed." The he turns away from Wei Ying and starts walking to the other end of the room.

Wei Ying who was a little shook because of Lan Zhan's close proximity and the way Lan Zhan had smiled at him while cupping his face, regains his composure.  
Lan Zhan's words about going to bed register in his mind. He calls out to his friend, "Lan Zhan... don't... don't ..."

Lan Zhan turns to look at Wei Ying. He can sense hesitation and worry in his voice. He asks, "What is it?"

"Lan Zhan... I don't want it to sound flirtatious but... Please sleep with me." Wei Ying blurts out and looks at anywhere but him.

"What?" Lan Zhan says breathlessly and thinks, _'Is he for real! I just told him not to flirt with me unless he means it... And he is at it again???'_

"Lan Zhan, it's not what you think. It's about that dream demon. I think it can attack us again..." Wei Ying takes a deep breath and starts explaining, " I think the reason you stopped before you...you. Before you went all the way with me has something to do with your headband."

"What do you mean?" Lan Zhan asks... his curiosity peaking .

Wei Ying starts pacing around his room and starts explaining, "The dream demon is a very powerful demon. Once it selects it's victims they are as good as dead. This particular demon wanted you to kill me and then kill yourself....but why did it not select me to kill you? ...I think it's because at the time when it was searching for a body to possess it could not enter mine."

"Why?" Lan Zhan asks.   
"I maybe wrong ,but at that time I had your headband tied around my neck... Lan Zhan... sorry about that." Wei Ying says smiling guiltily and continues, " The Lan headband is sacred and has pure magic within it. It has been known to resist evil... Am I right?"

"Mn."

"So, since it was on me at that moment, the dream demon couldn't possess me. So the only other unprotected target was you. That would also explain why when you... you tried to..." Wei Ying pauses unable to continue.

Lan Zhan continues for him, "So when I tried to _take_ you, my hand touched the headband lying on your chest and I was snapped back to reality....but... "

"But even after you saw that you had not hurt me you still wanted to kill yourself...That's what confused me too. But then I remembered that dream demon can manipulate emotions too once they are let in.... So even after knowing the truth your mind failed to process it. In your mind you had already done something unforgivable and the only way to absolve for that was to kill yourself."

"But... I didn't.. " Lan Zhan says, still confused.

"Yes... You didn't kill yourself my friend... And that is because I got angry and attracted resentful energy... The residual resentful energy left in your mind by the dream demon was attracted to me. So it left your mind and came to me....Of course this is just my guess as of now. " Wei Ying explains. He sees Lan Zhan looking worried so he adds, "Resentful energy can't harm me Lan Zhan. I control them. I am after all Yiling patriarch." Then Wei Ying smiles reassuringly at his friend.

Lan Zhan visibly relaxes.

"So Lan Zhan, since the demon may attack us while we are sleeping I need both of us the share the headband... And that is only possible if you sleep with me.... So please sleep with me." Wei Ying says holding Lan Zhan's gaze.

"Mn." Lan Zhan nods and walks over to Wei Ying. He pulls his headband off his forehead and ties it around their wrists. Then they walk towards the bed.   
They both realize at the same time that there is no way that space can accommodate two grown men.

Wei Ying is the first to speak. He looks at his friend and apologetically says, "Ammm... Lan Zhan... It's going to be a tight fit... I know how you don't like to be close to people... Amm... ."

"You are not people." Lan Zhan says pulling Wei Ying by the hand, "Get on it." he orders his friend.

Wei Ying is dumbfounded, but he does what he is told and gets on the bed.   
Lan Zhan follows the other and gets on the bed too since their wrists are tired together.

They sit on the bed awkwardly for a few seconds contemplating how to proceed.  
Then as if making up his mind, Lan Zhan turns to his friend.  
He says with hesitation, "Wei Ying, do you trust me? "  
Wei Ying nods.   
"I won't hurt you. You are safe with me...You still believe that right?" Lan Zhan asks with a slightly shaky voice.

Wei Ying nods again.

Lan Zhan slowly lies down on the bed. He puts his free hand out and gestures Wei Ying to put his head on his outstretched arm.   
Wei Ying is not sure if that's the best way to tackle the issue at hand and says, "Lan Zhan if I put my head on your hand it will go stiff and hurt...maybe we should... "

"No." Lan Zhan says cutting Wei Ying's words off.   
He gently pulls Wei Ying down so that his head rests on Lan Zhan's shoulder and their chests are sticking together with Wei Ying's free hand on his friend's chest.  
Lan Zhan then threads the fingers of their tied hands together and puts their now joined hands close to their chests.

Wei Ying blushes deeply and looks up at Lan Zhan's face.   
Lan Zhan's face is calm and composed.

_'How can he be so calm... Does my closeness not affect him at all?... Am I the only one who is so affected??'_ Wei Ying asks himself, getting annoyed.

"Are you cold?" Lan Zhan asks without looking at his friend's face.

_'Let's see if he really can remain unaffected',_ Wei Ying thinks mischievously and say, "Hmm... I am cold.. Lan Zhan, can't you do something to warm me up...hm?"

Lan Zhan doesn't react for a few seconds then he snaps his fingers and the next moment a sheet is covering them.

"Better?" Lan Zhan asks.

Finally accepting defeat, Wei Ying answers, "Yes... better. " He sighs and thinks, _'Lan Zhan... you really are a Jade... your heart is unwavering.'_

The tiredness of the day finally catchs up to him and Wei Ying falls asleep in his friend's arms.

The same could not be said about Lan Zhan who had put all his years of practice at looking calm and composed so as not to scare his friend.

He looks down at Wei Ying's sleeping form.  
_'The face didn't show anything. I was able to monitor my heart beat as well.... I did good... I made Wei Ying feel secure.'_ he thinks feeling proud of his self-control.  
But Lan Zhan is only human. He can't keep up this facade forever.

He thinks it's safe to let go. Wei Ying can't see him anyway... Wei Ying is already sound asleep.

He let's go of his well controlled , suppressed emotions.   
He breaths out heavily. His body shudders a little. Flush rises to his cheeks and his heart starts to pound in his chest. His free hand moves to Wei Ying's back and comes to rest on his shoulder.   
He strokes Wei Ying's arms gently for a few minutes and then sleep engulfs him. His breathing evens out and his heart grows quieter.

That is when Wei Ying opens his eyes, he looks at their intertwined fingers and places a kiss on it. 

He calls his friend's name softly, "Lan Zhan... " when Lan Zhan doesn't answer , Wei Ying whispers, "Lan Zhan, your face doesn't show anything, so I waited and listened to your heart... and guess what it told me?"

He lifts his head and looks at his friend's beautiful calm face. He whispers ever so softly, "I know now that you too have feels for me....but Lan Zhan ....I don't know how deep your feelings run.. and.. I am scared... I am not ready...I don't want to be '_**your Now'**_... I want to be '**_your Forever'_** .. So, I hope you can wait for me....just like I will wait for you... So we can meet in the middle. OK?"

Wei Ying then brings his face near Lan Zhan's and places a kiss on the side of his lips.   
Then he puts his head back on Lan Zhan's chest and falls asleep listening to the calming sound of his friend's beating heart; engulfed in the fragrance of sandalwood


	19. It has to be me

***Lanling***

"Jin Ling why the fuck are you crying? That is not how a grown boy should behave!" Jian Cheng scolds the young boy sitting in front of him in a most irritated voice.

Jin Ling wipes his tears and says, "Sorry uncle... I... don't know why I am crying."

"Do you regret stabbing that fool?" Jiang Cheng asks.

"Yes.. No... I don't know how I feel." the boy says in between sobs.

"That stupid fucking half wit! What was he thinking walking into Lanling like that? Did he think he will be welcomed? ... After what he did... He should have stayed dead.!" Jiang Cheng says throwing the cup he was holding. The cup falls to the floor and shatters.  
The young boy flinches and stops crying.

"He.. he saved me." the boy whispers.

"What did you say?" Jiang Cheng says still irritated.

"Senior Mo.. I mean Him... He saved me back at Dafan Mountain... And later when I got buried in the Nie sect tomb ...I think I got cursed there. When I freed Senior Mo from your captivity to repay his debt for saving me, he hit me and I feel unconscious. When I came to, I saw that the curse mark on my leg was gone." Jin Ling says slowly keeping his head down and adds, "And most recently he saved me and my friends at Yi City.... I had thought he was a good person...I had thought we could be friends."

Jiang Cheng doesn't say anything for a few minutes. He is in deep thought.

Then his face changes again and he scolds the boy again, "You are stupid if you think HE can ever be your friend. He doesn't know how to be a friend. He doesn't deserve to be called a friend....Now go fix yourself... And stop acting like a princess."

The boy nods and leaves the room.

'_Wei Wuxian is the bane of my existence... That Fucking bastard....And then he goes and saves Jin Ling ...does he think he can fix everything by doing that... I hate him...'_ Jiang Cheng thinks to himself _'....but you don't really hate him enough to want him dead right?'_ his brain adds.

_'Well Fuck emotions... Who needs them'_ Jiang Cheng thinks making up his mind about certain things and gets up.

He hears a knock on the door.   
"Who is it?" he shouts at the door.

Chu replies, "Clan leader, it's me. I have a message from Aunty Yenay."

"Come in."

Clan leader reads the message and writes a reply. He seals it and hands it over to Chu.

"Give this to Aunty Yenay only. And don't mention about coming to see me to anyone....Now leave." Jian Cheng says authoritatively.

Chu leaves with the letter.

Jiang Cheng stands in the room contemplating his next move and then leaves to go find Meng Yao.  
For the first time in years, The Angry Lotus.... smiles.

***Lotus Cove***

The first rays of the sun hit Wei Ying's face and he slowly opens his eyes. He doesn't want to wake up. He wants to go back to sleep again but his stomach grumbles...'_I need food' ,_ he thinks and slowly sits up on the bed.   
He looks around only to be met with the sight of his friend meditating.  
_'So pure'_, Wei Ying's brain supplies.

He sees that Lan Zhan is still wearing his night cloths. They are red. They look beautiful on Lan Zhan.

He tiptoes towards Hanguang Jun and quietly sits in front of him. He wants to cherish these moments. He wants to memorize how Lan Zhan looks in red.   
It's only been a few seconds when Lan Zhan opens his eyes and smiles sweetly at his friend.   
"You're awake." he says.

"Hm. Lan Zhan, did you dream about me last night?" Wei Ying asks innocently.

"No."

Wei Ying pouts and asks, "Then... Did you dream of Mianmian?"

Lan Zhan just gives him a 'Are you stupid' look and says, "Manners Wei Ying, she is a married woman now."

Wei Ying smile, "Oh no Hanguang Jun , who will marry you now?"

Lan Zhan knows that his friend is in a playful mood. He deadpans , "Since I have promised to never abandon you... I guess I will have to marry you. No woman will have me with you tagging along ,will she now?"

Wei Ying doesn't know how to answer his friend so he just keeps looking at his friend with a dumbfounded expression.

Lan Zhan says, "You are hungry. Yenay came a while ago and left food for us. Let's eat."

The thought of food puts Wei in good mood again.  
They eat in silence.

Once they are done Lan Zhan says, "Wei Ying take off your Robes."

"What?... Why?", Wei Ying says holding his robes.

"I need to check on your wound." Lan Zhan says as he pulls Wei Ying to bed and starts to take off his clothes.

"Lan Zhan... I... I..can do it myself." Wei Ying says blushing and holding his friends hand.

"Why?"

"Because I am a grownass man who doesn't need help to disrobe himself." Wei Ying says irritated...but still blushing.

"Ok."

"Thank you." Wei Ying says as he removes his night shirt. He doesn't look at Lan Zhan. So he doesn't see the lust and longing that is visible clearly all over Hanguang Jun's face.

Hanguang Jun gulps and turns away before he is caught red handed.   
"Wei Ying... You need to... undo your ...pants..as well. I will be back with first aid items." he says and walks away.

For the first time Wei Ying actually sees the unfortunate positioning of his wound..  
_'Damn it Jin Ling.'_

Wei Ying reluctantly loosens the belt holding his pants up.   
Lan Zhan returns with the necessary items.

"Lan Zhan, you don't have to do it." Wei Ying says.

"I have to." Lan Zhan replies.

"Aunty Yenay can do it or anyone else can... Lotus Cove has doctors you know." Wei Ying argues.

"I will do it." Lan Zhan says resolutely.

"Why? Why can't others do it Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying asks. He fails to understand the logic behind Lan Zhan's actions.

Lan Zhan doesn't answer.

Wei Ying asks again, "Tell me Lan Zhan why can't someone else do it?...Why? Lan Zhan! "

Lan Zhan looks down at his hands and says, "I don't want them to see you."

"Why is that Lan Zhan? Why can't they see me? Don't you trust me when I say that we are safe here? Lan Zhan I trust Aunty Yenay to take care of us." Wei Ying says getting frustrated.

"I will do it. It has to be me." Lan Zhan says in a small dejected voice. He knows that he is loosing the argument.

Wei Ying's heart can't bare to look at Lan Zhan being this disheartened, so he holds his friend's hands and asks, "Lan Zhan can you please tell me why it has to be you? I promise, if you tell me the reason I will let you do it."

When Lan Zhan doesn't say anything. Wei Ying nods like he understands and squeezes his friend's hands.

"OK." Wei Ying says and adds, "You can do it. But you need to give me something in return too. "

Lan Zhan nods "Mn."  
And gets to work.

He unwraps the bandage and checks for infection. Fully satisfied that the wound is healing nicely he tries to use his spiritual energy to heal it faster.  
Wei Ying feels like he is heaven when the energy touches him. The mild pain he had been feeling is gone.   
To Lan Zhan's surprise the wound starts closing. It takes more spiritual energy and concentration.  
Wei Ying looks on, as sweatbeads form on Lan Zhan's forehead.

"Lan Zhan that's enough." Wei Ying says feeling guilty.

"Not yet." Lan Zhan says closing his eyes tightly and continuing to transfer more energy.

Wei Ying gives him a few seconds more but when Lan Zhan still doesn't stop, Wei Ying holds his friend's hands.   
"Lan Zhan! That's. Enough." Wei Ying says angrily. And Lan Zhan opens his eyes, visibly in pain.

Wei Ying feels guilty that Lan Zhan would bring himself pain and use his spiritual power just to heal his skin wound. Wei Ying doesn't say anything. He knows it will only hurt and embarrass Lan Zhan if he said anything further about using his spiritual power on the wound.

Lan Zhan checks the wound again.   
_'I will transfer more power tomorrow... I will heal it... I will make sure it doesn't leave a scar'_, Lan Zhan thinks observing the almost healed wound. He touches it lightly.

Wei Ying shivers at the touch.

'Sorry. Did I hurt you?" Lan Zhan asks in a worried tone.

"No. Your touch startled me is all." Wei Ying answers and starts getting dressed.

"Sorry." Lan Zhan mouths again but Wei Ying doesn't hear it.

"Lan Zhan, " Wei Ying says once he is fully dressed, "Thank you"

Lan Zhan mutters a "Mn." again and starts to put the unused items away.

After he is done Lan Zhan looks at Wei Ying who is following his every move and asks ,"What?"

Wei Ying walks towards him.   
And comes and stands in front of him

Wei Ying asks , "You promised me that I can take a thing from you as a payment for letting you treat me remember?"

"Mn. I remember. What do you want?" Lan Zhan asks confidently.

Wei Ying stares at Lan Zhan's lips and then lifts his eyes to look into his eyes, "I was wondering... Hanguang Jun , have you ever kissed anyone?" then Wei Ying's eyes drop to look at Lan Zhan's lips again. 


	20. The Kiss

  
Lan Zhan doesn't say anything. Not because he doesn't want to... He wants to say many things... But he has forgotten how to form words.   
Lan Zhan knows that he needs to tell things... things that he has hidden. But he decides against it.   
'Maybe later', he thinks to himself.

"Lan Zhan...Aren't you going to answer me?" Wei Ying asks coming closer when he doesn't receive an answer.

Wei Ying waits for his friend to answer him...but the answer doesn't come.

Giving up Wei Ying says ...dissapointment coloring his words, "I understand....You are a dignified gentleman. You wouldn't kiss and tell. It was improper to even ask such a question....I am sorry Lan Zhan. Just forget about it. You owe me nothing."

Wei Ying steps back.   
"Aunty must be waiting for us to show up in the main hall. Let's change and go." Wei Ying says as he turns away from Lan Zhan.

When Lan Zhan sees Wei Ying's retreating back, he snaps out of his world and swiftly holds Wei Ying's wrist. When Wei Ying looks back, Lan Zhan finally speaks.   
"No." He says.

"Lan Zhan now you are being totally unreasonable. We need to go to the main hall. We are here as cultivators remember?" Wei Ying explains.

"No... I mean.. I have never... " Lan Zhan tries to finish he sentence but fails. A light blush colours his cheeks.  
'It has always been you Wei Ying.' Lan Zhan thinks, but doesn't say it.

Wei Ying's eyes light up once more. He comes closer to Lan Zhan again and finishes the sentence for him, "You have never kissed anyone."

Lan Zhan nods and looks at Wei Ying innocently.

_'He is so fucking cute when he is like this... so beautiful...i can't believe I am the cause of that gorgeous tint on his cheeks.'_ Wei Ying's heart starts pounding.

Wei Ying zones out looking at the gorgeous person in front of him.

"Wei Ying, " Lan Zhan shakes his friend's wrist, and Wei Ying snaps back to reality. Lan Zhan continues , "What is it that you wanted?"

Wei Ying smile naughtyly and puts his hands on his friend's shoulders and says "Lan Zhan...can I take it?"

"Mn?"

"Can I..." Wei Ying says walking closer.  
Wei Ying is very close, Lan Zhan can feel the heat radiating from his friend's body.   
Wei Ying continues, "Can I take your first kiss...Hanguang Jun?"   
_'Please say yes.Please say yes.Please say yes. Please say yes.' _Wei Ying's mind screams.

Lan Zhan has again lost the ability to form words so he just nods. His body trembles slightly as he processes what might happen next. He looks into Wei Ying's eyes to make sure if he is serious about it.

Lan Zhan notices that Wei Ying is blushing. Lan Zhan gulps.

"Lan Zhan, please don't feel pressured to do this. I will back off if you are unwilling." Wei Ying says stroking Lan Zhan's shoulders softly.

Lan Zhan immediately responds, "I am willing."

Wei Ying feels elated. His eyes betray his emotions as a tear makes it's way down his cheek. _'He is willing...he didn't ask me to back off.. He didn't reject me.'_

Lan Zhan knows the meaning behind the tear. He just looks affectionately at Wei Ying.

Wei Ying takes a deep breath and says, "Lan Zhan, I need you to stay absolutely still. I forbid you to move. Can you do that?"

That is when realization hits Lan Zhan like a ton of bricks, _'Wei Ying.... My Wei Ying has never done this before. He has never kissed anyone before.. He has never been kissed before... How can that be? Just How????'_  
Wei Ying had been popular with girls in Yunmeng. They had flocked to him. He was talented and a sweet talker. He was going to be the next Jiang Clan leader's right hand man... and yet he had not kissed anyone.   
_'Only You Wangji...only you.'_ Lan Zhan's heart starts pounding at the thought.

Lan Zhan's doesn't know why but the thought of him being Wei Ying's first sends warm waves through his very soul.   
"Mn." Lan Zhan says and adds, just to reassure his friend, "I give you my word."

"Lan Zhan...thank you." Wei Ying whispers.

Slowly..Wei Ying leans towards his friend and closes his eyes.

But just before their lips are about to touch there is a knock at the door.   
Lan Zhan, who had closed his eyes opens them and as a reflex he moves to open the door.   
Wei Ying's hands on Lan Zhan's shoulder tighten , holding him in place.

"No." he says, it sounds like a growl.

He doesn't want any interruptions. He can't deal with any interruptions. He is done waiting.

"Do. Not . Move. Lan Zhan." Wei Ying says as he lifts his hand and puts it behind Lan Zhan's neck and pulls them closer.   
"Let them wait." he says breathlessly.  
And gently brings their lips together for just a second.   
It's a barely there kiss. It's more of a peck than a kiss...but Wei Ying's breath is shaking.   
His heart wants more but he is not sure if he is allowed to proceed.   
He thinks,_ 'Soft... His lips are soft... I want to do it again...Can I do it again?'_

"Lan Zhan, how was it?" Wei Ying asks unsure... and scared... and slightly embarrassed.  
Lan Zhan doesn't speak, but his eyes do. And Wei Ying knows what they are saying.

"Lan Zhan, can I do it again?" Wei Ying asks, this time his voice is less hesitant.

"Mn."

"Hanguang Jun... ", Wei Ying whispers... no he moans and puts his lips on Lan Zhan's.   
This time the kiss is more confident. Wei Ying's hands cup Lan Zhan's face and he presses his lips more firmly to Lan Zhan's.

He breaks the kiss again.   
"Hanguang Jun...your lips are so soft...." Wei Ying says as his breaths become heavy. He looks at Lan Zhan one more time. He sees what he feels for Lan Zhan reflected in Lan Zhan's eyes.   
_'He loves You too.'_ his heart tells him.

Wei Ying notices that Lan Zhan is still.... unmoving..and thinks, _'Is he even breathing?' _

Wei Ying remembers that he was the idiot who told Lan Zhan not to move. Hanguang Jun is just respecting his wishes and keeping his words.

"Lan Zhan...." Wei Ying says his voice deeper... huskier than usual.  
"Move...", Wei Ying says as he guides Lan Zhan's hands to his waist.

Lan Zhan puts his hands on Wei Ying's waist. His hands tremble.

Lan Zhan is unsure what his friend wants him to do so he just stands there holding him.

Seeing that Lan Zhan hasn't moved Wei Ying moves back a little and says, "Aren't you going to kiss me Hanguang Jun?"

Lan Zhan's brain and body receive a mind shock at these words. He looks into Wei Ying's eyes to make sure that he has indeed been given permission to kiss the man he loves.

Wei Ying smiles and nods and that is all Hanguang Jun needs.

His hands grip Wei Ying's waist tighter and he starts by placing a gentle soft kiss on Wei Ying's forehead.   
Wei Ying closes his eyes and his arms wrap around Lan Zhan's neck.

Lan Zhan's kisses Wei Ying's eyelids one by one...cherishing each and every moment.   
Lan Zhan's lips travel to Wei Ying's high cheekbones and he places a kiss there as well.

Lan Zhan avoids Wei Ying's lips and starts placing kisses on his jaw.

"Lan Zhan! Kiss me." he says breathlessly.

"I am." Lan Zhan answers and continues placing featherlight kisses on Wei Ying's jaw.

Wei Ying loses his patience and puts his hands on Lan Zhan's waist and pulls Lan Zhan closer.

Their lower bodies make contact.

A low moan leaves Lan Zhan's chest and he brings their lips together and places a close mouth kiss on Wei Ying's lips. And his lips move to Wei Ying's jaw again. He nips lightly at Wei Ying's jaw.

"Hanguang Jun.....Ah...." Wei Ying moans.   
"Do it again." Wei Ying says, his voice shaking...pleading.

Lan Zhan obliges.

He kisses and nips at Wei Ying's jaw and neck again and again... Moving his lips lower and lower.   
Lan Zhan's hand moves to Wei Ying's belt and he pulls on it , continuing to move his lips lower with each nip... with each kiss.

"Hanguang Jun... what are you doing?" Wei Ying asks without letting go of the other man's waist.

Lan Zhan doesn't answer , he continues to kiss and nip.

The belt falls to the floor. Wei Ying's robes loosely cover his body.

Lan Zhan exposes Wei Ying's shoulder and his eyes fall on the now red bite mark. _'I gave him that'_ his mind reminds him. _'Mine... Only Mine.'_ his mind adds and without thinking Lan Zhan puts his mouth over it again and sucks... hard.

"Fuck.. ah.. Fuck... Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying moans and puts his arms around Lan Zhan's neck bring them flush against each other and buries his face in Lan Zhan's neck.   
Lan Zhan continues to nip and then suck.   
Wei Ying feels pain and pleasure crossing thru his veins. His body trembles slightly. He starts feeling dizzy.

"Hold me tighter Lan Zhan." he says ,his voice shaking... trembling.

Lan Zhan stops and holds him tighter. Sensing something wrong, he asks, "Wei Ying, what is it?"

"Lan Zhan I think something is wrong . I think I have been cursed!" he says holding Lan Zhan tighter.

Alarms go off in Lan Zhan's brain and he immediately picks up Wei Ying bridal style and carries him to bed and gently puts him down on it.

"Wei Ying, how do you feel? Where does it hurt?" Lan Zhan asks almost panicking.   
_'He was fine a while back. His wound is better now. He was happy. '_ Lan Zhan thinks trying to figure out the cause for Wei Ying's state.

"Lan Zhan I can't breathe... I feel dizzy... my chest feels uncomfortable...Lan Zhan, what is wrong with me?" Wei Ying asks holding Lan Zhan's hand.

Lan Zhan doesn't know how to help his friend.  
"Wei Ying, tell me what to do. Please Wei Ying." Lan Zhan says desperately.

Wei Ying remembers where he is.  
_'Aunty Yenay. Would know what to do.'_

Wei Ying says with urgency, "Lan Zhan, go get Aunty Yenay."

"Mn." Lan Zhan nods and is about to leave, but as an afterthought he goes to the side table and picks up his headband and ties it around Wei Ying's wrist and rushes out of the room.   
Lan Zhan's last thought before he leaves Wei Ying alone and rushes out is, _'Wei Ying please be OK. I just got you. I can't lose you now. You have to be alright...for me.'_


	21. A Good Man

Lan Zhan runs outside the room. He is still in his night cloths. He gets strange glances from the young boys and flirty glances from young girls who are taking a break from training.  
Lan Zhan randomly stops a boy and asks about the whereabouts of Aunty Yenay.

The boy willingly takes him to her.   
Yenay is guiding the house help in the kitchen.

The boy asks Lan Zhan to wait outside and goes inside to fetch Aunty Yenay.

Within a few minutes she was rushing out towards Lan Zhan. Her surprise turns to worry when she looks at Lan Zhan face. He, who is known to be the most calm, composed and stable of all cultivators, doesn't look the part.   
The man in front of her looked like he saw a ghost. He looked pale.

"Master Lan, what's wrong?" She asks holding Lan Zhan's gaze.

Lan Zhan gets tongue tied for a moment so Yenay continues, "I came to your room sometime back to take the dishes and to check if you needed anything else. There was no response when I knocked so I presumed that you were not inside....but it looks like I was wrong. What happened?"

Lan Zhan remains quite. His face is a mix of guilt and embarrassment. He lowers his gaze.

"Hanguang Jun, I will not push for you to answer why you didn't open the door." She says giving Lan Zhan a knowing look and adds, " But if I am to help you, you need to tell me what has happened."

Lan Zhan doesn't know how to explain what's wrong so he just blurts out, "It's Wei Ying. There is something wrong with him.  
He...he was fine this morning... he was happy. And then all of a sudden his feet gave way. He is finding it difficult to breathe..."

Yenay doesn't let him finish. She starts walking back to the kitchen and says,   
"Master Lan, go back to your room right now and stay with him. I will be there in a few minutes."

"So you know what's wrong with him?" he asks.   
"Yes Master Lan. Now go." Yenay says disappearing into the kitchen.

Lan Zhan runs back to their room.

When he arrives, Wei Ying is unconscious. He is drenched in sweat. Hi breathing is shallow.   
Lan Zhan is scared to touch him. Wei Ying looks fragile... Like Lan Zhan's touch might break him.   
Lan Zhan, not knowing what to do just stands next to the bed looking worriedly at the man he loves.

His mind goes blank. He doesn't know how long he stands and stares.  
There is a knock on the door and Yenay enters.

She is holding a tray with some herb powder in a bowl and what looks like Lotus root and pork rib soup.   
She sets it on the table and asks,  
"Master Lan, can you tell me what happened before Master Wei started having these symptoms?"

Lan Zhan is at a loss for words. He awkwardly starts , "I.. We.. together..."  
Fresh Sweatbeads form on his forehead and he looks down... unable to continue.

"That's ok. Just answer in yes or no then." she says calmly.

Lan Zhan nods.

"I take it that you and Master Wei are close. Yes?" she asks... interrogates.

Lan Zhan nods.

"Recently... have you become closer?"  
She continues interrogating him.

Lan Zhan nods.

"Master Lan, I need you to think very carefully and answer my next question ok."

"Mn."

"Master Lan, does Master Wei Love you?" she asks.   
Lan Zhan feels as if he has been caught doing inappropriate things by his Uncle.   
After a few seconds he answers, "I don't know if he loves me. But I love him and have vowed to take care of him in my lifetime so if there is anything that can make him better I will do it. So Madam ...please tell me what I have to do."

The look of happiness on the Yenay's face is akin to a woman's who has found a very good man for her daughter to marry.

She steps a bit closer to Lan Zhan and holds his hand.   
"Master Lan, A Xian needs you to stay with him. Over the years he has lost almost everyone he has cared about. When he came to us as a little boy he used to get like this often. It was Lady Yanli who used to take care of him then."  
Lan Zhan had not know about this. He feels like ice cold breeze has suddenly gripped his heart. He looks up at Yenay.

  
Yenay, with tears in her eyes continues, "Slowly he started feeling secure and the episodes became less frequent. And as you know, he grew up to become a fine young man... but... looks like fate has dealt him an unfortunate hand. Everytime he tries to pick up the broken pieces of his life and start afresh, the pieces scatter again."

She goes silent for a few minutes.  
Then she wipes her tears and says, "Young Master, what A Xian needs, is for you to take care of him. Master Wei has suffered a panic attack. I think he fears that he will lose you. So I want you to make it clear to him that you are not going to leave. Can you do that Master Lan? "

Lan Zhan nods.

Yenay puts her hand on Wei Ying's forehead, removing a stray strand of hair from it and tucking it behind his ears and adds, " He has a week heart... He has always had a weak heart..so I suggest you take it slow Hanguang Jun." She says again looking like a mother who is warning her son in law to behave himself, "I am trusting you to take care of A Xian, be gentle. He puts up a strong front but he takes things to heart very easily....So Hanguang Jun it is up to you now."

Lan Zhan gulps, tips of his ears turn bright red... and he nods looking at the floor. His brain starts rambling again, _'I have to watch myself more from now on... but how do I do that... I can't ask a lady about such a thing... Maybe I can ask brother... But that's not appropriate either... Also he has no experience...what about uncle... Nooooooooooo.....he will kill me.'_

" Master Lan...Young master..???"

"Mn?"

Yenay instructs, "You need to change him.... Ammm.. take care of him.. I trust you know what to do. Ah... Yes... Mix these herbs in the soup and feed it to him once he is up. And bring him out. It will be good for him to mingle with the boys and girls here. I will inform everyone that you are cultivators of the Nie clan and are here on some confidential official business."   
She turns to leave but stops and says without looking at Lan Zhan, "Hanguang Jun,you are a very handsome man and there are young ladies here...so I would be greatful if you wouldn't walk out of your Jingshi in night clothing again." And then she is gone closing the door behind her.

Lan Zhan sit on the bed and gently takes Wei Ying in his arms.  
"Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan says hoping his friend will respond. When Wei Ying doesn't answer Lan Zhan takes a wet cloth and starts wiping the sweat from his friend's face. Once that's done he wipes Wei Ying's neck. Then he loosens his robes and starts wiping his shoulder and chest.   
Wei Ying moves a little in Lan Zhan's arms.   
Lan Zhan stops and calls his friend's name again, "Wei Ying....?"

Wei Ying opens his eyes slowly and looks at Lan Zhan.  
He smiles like an angel and whispers, "You are here Lan Zhan...I thought you left."

Lan Zhan touches the other man's face ever so lightly. He embraces Wei Ying and says, "I am here Wei Ying , I am here now and I always will be."

Lan Zhan breaks the embrace, softly caressing Wei Ying's face he adds, "So don't you ever think that you will get rid of me. No one can steal you from me...Wei Ying. No one."

And then Lan Zhan brings their faces closer and tastes Wei Ying's lips lightly for a moment.

He wants to do more... He wants to trace Wei Ying's lips. He wants to put his lips on Wei Ying's long slender neck... He wants to finish what he started earlier....but he knows it's not the right time. He knows they have a lot of time. So he breaks the kiss almost immediately.

Wei Ying, not wanting to end the kiss so quickly, protests and puts his arms around Lan Zhan's neck and tries to kiss him again.   
Lan Zhan doesn't allow it. Wei Ying pouts but does as he is told.

'Wei Ying, you need to change. And eat this soup that madam bought for you. And after that you can show me your home. Do you think you are up to it? " Lan Zhan asks eyes full of affection for the man in his arms.

"Lan Zhan... I get it now .....you want to see all the beautiful girls of Yunmeng that I mentioned to you all those years ago don't you? " Wei Ying says teasingly and smiles.

And Lan Zhan thinks for the 'nth' time in his life, _'Why do I love this idiot again?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note :- so if it was not clear, Wei Ying had a panic attack due to his fear of abandonment. As a reader it may feel illogical but many a times it happens because of no solid reason and if one has had it before they are susceptible to it happening to them again.


	22. A Jealous man

** *Lanling* **

Jin Guangyao is sitting in his room with Lan XiChen when Jiang Cheng enters. He bows respectfully to both the Clan leaders and they return the bow.

The three clan leaders are served tea by Jin Lanling house help.

After dismissing the help Jin Guangyao speaks, "Second brother and Clan leader Cheng the matter I want to address is of a personal nature for both your Clans.", he pauses and with a innocent tone adds, "Lan Wangji has fled with Yiling patriarch , that is a very serious matter. Not only did he flee with that evil doer he even assisted in his escape. But I am willing to overlook it." he finishes self-importantly.

Lan XiChen's always smiling face is sullen. He addresses his third brother first, "Yao, thank you for your generosity but what is it that you need the Lan Clan to do for looking past Wangji's error in judgement?"

"Second Brother, I know how vicious Yiling Patriarch is, surly he has tricked Hanguang Jun. He must have used his crafty trick to corrupt his mind. So Brother there is nothing I want from Lan Clan... but if it's OK with you I would like you to allow me to discreetly search Cloud Reassess." Meng Yao says smiling like a snake.

Lan XiChen sighs, "Yao, that is not an unreasonable request. But can you please give me sometime to think about it?"

"Second brother, you know I can never refuse you... anything" Meng Yao says in looking intensely at Lan XiChen.

Jiang Cheng has had enough already. He rolls his eyes at the two Zuns and says in a slightly irritated voice, "Clan leaders if you are done with the formalities, I have something to say. And it's about Yiling Patriarch so it's important."

** *Lotus Cove* **   
** *Wei Ying's room* **

A bath tub is sitting right in the middle of the room and both men are starting at it awkwardly.

Yenay says in a strict motherly tone, "I suggest young masters to use it without delay. If I am to introduce you to the others as respected members of the Nie clan, I need both of you to look presentable"

Lan Zhan is the first to speak. He hesitantly says, "Madam, I will change into formal clothing. That should be sufficient. It's enough if Wei Ying takes a bath."

"Hanguang Jun, handsome as you are, you will still have to take a bath. Your cloths yesterday were bloodstained. I am sure there are stains all over your body as well. And I can't explain it to the others if our sect cloths get stains because of that. So please take a bath." she finishes like she won't here anything else about the matter.

Wei Ying speaks then, "Aunty, can we at least have two tubs?" and throws an innocent smile at Yenay.   
Yenay's heart almost melts, but she knows what she is doing is the right thing so she strictly says , "No. Now do as I have told."  
And then she is gone.

"Lan Zhan, I am sorry. I don't know why Aunty is being so difficult." Wei Ying says and adds, "Ok, I know what we can do. You take bath first and then I will."

"No. Let's get in together. The wound on your stomach is almost healed. The water won't make it worse. But just in case, I will put a protection charm on it." Lan Zhan says and turns away from Wei Ying and takes off his shirt and the trouser. Without making eye contact he gets into the tub.

Wei Ying gathers all his courage and follows Lan Zhan's actions.   
Once he is rid of his clothing and standing only in his underwear Lan Zhan puts his hand on his friend's waist and puts a charm on the wound. It looks like a clear film on Wei Ying's wound.  
Once the charm is in effect Wei Ying gets in the tub ,next to his friend.

There is an awkward silence. Wei Ying hates silences so he speaks, "Lan Zhan, remember the time you got beat up because of me, and Zewu Jun directed me to the cold spring in Cloud reassess...those were the days." he sighs and continues, "Me, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang were such an awesome trio. We used to drink, watch naughty stuff. I remember Huaisang used to have.... "

"Shut up!" Lan Zhan says in a clipped tone.

"Why?" Wei Ying asks innocently and then splashes water on Lan Zhan's face and laughs.

"Wei Ying stop it." Lan Zhan's voice becomes rougher.

This only encourages Wei Ying more and he splashes water on Lan Zhan again. Before he does it the third time, Lan Zhan grabs both of his wrists.

Wei Ying tries to look intimidated at first but then bursts out laughing.   
He says between bursts of laughter, "Lan Zhan, ...you are no fun. You know, that is why Jiang Cheng and brother Nie used to misunderstand you. ...They always... "  
Lan Zhan doesn't let Wei Ying finish. He put his had over Wei Ying mouth.   
"Do. Not. Talk. About. Them." Lan Zhan says angrily and a bit out of breath.

Now Wei Ying's hands are free again so he puts them on Lan Zhan's shoulder and tries to pull himself closer to his friend. Lan Zhan moves his body further away.  
He takes his hand off Wei Ying's mouth.   
He says again more gently than before, "Wei Ying please don't talk about them."

Wei Ying asks matter-of-factly, "Why Hanguang Jun? Does it bother you if I talk about them?"

"I don't like it." Lan Zhan replies.

"Why don't you like it Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying asks softly, coming closer to Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan gulps.

"Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying whispers in he ears, "are you jealous."

Lan Zhan nods.

Wei Ying feels smug, he asks curiosity getting the best of him, "Lan Zhan what will you do if I don't stop talking about them?"

Lan Zhan doesn't answer but the tips of his ears turn red.  
Wei Ying suddenly puts his hand on Lan Zhan's chest. Over the Wen brand mark. He traces the shape of it with his fingers and without any warning puts his lips over it and it kisses it.

Lan Zhan gasps and moans"Wei Ying ah.. I don't... "

Wei Ying puts a finger on Lan Zhan's mouth. He lifts up his head to look at Lan Zhan.   
His finger involuntarily moves over Lan Zhan's lips... tracing it's shape.... feeling it's softness...it's warmth.   
Wei Ying's hands move as if not under his control anymore. He puts his hands on either side of Lan Zhan's face and touches Lan Zhan's forehead with his thumbs, then his eyebrows, then the bridge of his nose and then Wei Ying's fingers are back on Lan Zhan's lips again.

Wei Ying says in a broken rough voice, "Fuck...." and he bits his lips almost hard enough to draw blood and adds, "Lan Zhan..."

  
Lan Zhan's eyes are glued to Wei Ying's lips. When Wei Ying bites his lips ,Lan Zhan feels his blood flow directed down. He feels hot. He feels like he will lose control any moment. And that is something that he absolutely can not let happen again.

Yenay's words echo in Lan Zhan's mind,_ 'Take it slow Hanguang Jun'_

Wei Ying's hands abandon his friend's face and move to his collar bone. He traces the curves there. Wei Ying starts blushing.   
He starts hesitantly, "Lan Zhan.. I..want.."

But before he can say anything else Lan Zhan turns his back to him. And holds on to the edges of the bath tub with enough strength to almost crush it. Enough strength to hurt himself. His face contorts in pain.

In a raspy breathless voice he says, "Wei Ying....Behave."

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave Kudos if you have enjoyed it.


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